How Am I Driving?

I don't know about you, but I have never, ever phoned 1-800 number posted on trucks advising us to rat out a misbehaving drivers.


I did however get a chuckle out of this Brinks truck , driving rather normally along Ste. Catherine St. in Westmount.
It seems the driver, or one of his co-workers made quite sure that nobody could phone the complaint line!

Interesting Montreal Social Demographic Notes

The City of Montreal published it's 'Profil sociodémographique' which profiles Montreal and Montrealers. You can find the report (in French) HERE
Here are some highlights that you may find interesting;

Population

• The city boasts a population of 1,9 million, up 2.3% since 2001
  
• There are 9.6 females for every 9 males.
• Last year 23,000 people were born and 15,000 died.
• 20% of the population is under 19 years old and 15% is over 65.

Family

• Of the 500,000 Montreal families, 20% are mono parental
• Of the 400,000 families that are couples, ¼ are not married.
• Of the married couples, 58% have children while only 37% of unmarried couples have children.
• Of families that do have children, the average number is 1.7.
• Of mono parental families, 83% are headed by the woman and 17% by a man.
• 38% of Montrealers live alone. Only 2% of dwellings have 6 or more people.

Dwellings

• Of the 800,000 individual dwellings, 67% are in apartment buildings.
• Only 12% of dwellings are detached individual houses.
• 62% of the dwellings are occupied by renters and 38% by owners.
• The average rent for an apartment is $661
• For those who own, the average value of the dwelling is $306,000

Language

• Of the language spoken at home, 50% speak French, 23% speak English and 19% speak some other language (Italian, Spanish and Arabic are the most common)
  
• 5% speak more than one language at home
• 56% of the population can speak both French and English
• 30% of the population speak French only (that means that 40% of the French Montrealers can't speak English
• 11% of the population speak English only (that means that less than half of the English Montrealers speak French)
  
• 3% of the population don't speak French or English.
• At work, 62% of people speak French, 31% English and 9% speak both French and English.
  

Citizenship and Race

• 63% of Montrealers were born in Quebec, 4% in other parts of Canada and 31% are immigrants.
• Of the immigrants, the largest group is Italian (10%), Haitians (7.4%) and then French and Chinese (5%)
• 25% of Montrealers are members of a visible minority, the largest group being black (28%) followed by Arabs (16%)

Work

• Of Montreal's total population, a little over half work for a living.
  
• For those who work, the average remuneration is $39,000 for men and $27,000 for females (30% less than men).
• Family incomes average $74,000
  

Weekly Anglo Quebec News Aug 1- Aug 7

Want to Keep up with Quebec News in just 5 minutes?
Perfect for Ex-pats or those in a rush!
Every Saturday read a short, subjective weekly review of Quebec news with a Anglophone perspective.

This isn't Kansas anymore, Toto. Tornados are generally not big news unless there's good video or someone is killed, but when one lands in Quebec and causes damage the story goes right to page one. The town of Mont-Laurier, population 14,000 (a two and a half hour drive north of Montreal) got hit with a Catagory 2 tornado last Tuesday afternoon and caused plenty of damage, including forty homes and knocking out power to half the town. MORE
Here's a video of the twister and a look at some of the damage
Adding to the disaster, a helicopter filming the ruins crashed and killed a popular local businessman and a cameraman from a CTV affiliate in Montreal.

Father in hot water after letting his seven year-old son drive down a deserted country road with the family encouraging him on. The incident came to light when the idiot father posted a video of the adventure on YouTube. As you can imagine the authorities are not amused and are considering charges. The Father is under extreme media pressure and has told friends his life is has been hell since the video surfaced.
In contrast, another incident of underage driving has gone virtually unnoticed despite the fact that there was a fatality. I guess YouTube is the difference. A five-year-old boy was crushed to death in Abitibi, Sunday by a farm tractor driven by aseven year old boy, in Quebec's Abitibi region, provincial police say. No charges are contemplated as there is no legal minimum age for operating a tractor on private property. Can you believe that!

Montreal gets a new area code -'579' is the new code entering service in August as the 450 area code is full.

Montreal 19th best city the world to live in according Monocle Magazine from England. The only other Canadian city to make the list was Vancouver (14th). Take that Toront0. Check out the complete list.

Themis Papadopoulos the alleged fraudster in the Triglobal Financial swindle is reported to be living in Greece. You might think that now that his whereabouts are known, prosecutors would seek his extradition in relation to the $86 million that disappeared in a black hole in the Cayman Islands. You'd be wrong, they haven't even filed charges two years after the fraud. Aaargh....

Quebec loses jobs. Of the 44,000 jobs lost in Canada in July, 37,000 of them were lost in Quebec. That'a a pretty dismal statistic. Ontario actually gained 13,000 jobs in the same period. The unemployment rate in Quebec hit 9% with the Canadian rate at 8.5%.

Stanley Cup makes the tour of Quebec, as several Quebec members of the cup winning Pittsburgh Penguins show of their trophy. Think it's lame? Thousand upon thousands turned up in places like Sorel, Brossard, St. Julie, Shawinigan. There was even a Stanley Cup party at trendy resto-bar Buonanotte in Montreal. The prevailing sentiment of fans was that living vicariously throught the Penguins was better than waitng for the Canadiens to win.

Gasoline rises to $1.09 a litre in Montreal on Friday. The average price of a litre of gas in the USA on the same day is 68.4¢. Ouch!

CRIME & PUNISHMENT
(Weekly review of interesting crime stories and court room antics)

Paedophile gets the book thrown at him. Ex Montreal school teacher Richard Doucet collected a whopping 14 year sentence for various creepy crimes that included making arrangement online to meet a young boy. Problem was that the 'boy' was really a undercover cop and Doucet was busted when he went to the meet. How he get such a heavy sentence? Well I forgot to mention that he got caught in Virginia and faces US style justice. Ha Ha!! Because he's a foreigner he'll have to serve almost the whole sentence. Ouch!!!!
When will Canadian criminals learn to stay home and commit their illegal acts here where sentences are decidely agreeable? Mr. Doucet would likely serve less six months for the same crime here.

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Montreal Canadiens Puck Bunnies

Urbania is a hip francophone magazine/web site that covers life in Quebec from a decidedly youngish point of view. If you have good French, try it.

Catherine Perreault-Lessard wrote an article a couple of months ago on the women who throw themselves at hockey players known in French by the insulting term 'Plottes a Puck'.

In English they are are called 'Puck Bunnies,' while in my day they were called 'Groupies' and in my father's day, they were called 'Jock Sniffers'
Whatever the term, they are those woman that seek out the company of hockey players solely for the thrill of hooking up.

If you have good French please read the article entitled "PUCK BUNNY" here.

For the rest of you, here are some translated passages of the most interesting parts;

Sunday evening, in Club Opera.
Up against the bar, a young woman sensually licks the ear lobe of a goalie's while slowly running her nails along his leg. Next to them, two girls are kissing full on the mouth in front of a defenceman and invite him to join their tender duet. Finally, in a dark corner, a shameless rookie, caresses the buttocks and breasts of a college student before burying his fingers in her underwear. Welcome into the world of Puck Bunnies........

.....the hot girls hang around the bars and hotel lobbies, hoping desperately to end the night with Carey Price, Mike Komisarek, or at worst, the least ugly of the two Kostitsyn brothers... ...When I began my research on the topic, my first instinct was to contact Réjean Tremblay, the author of the series 'Lance et Compte'(the TV show about pro hockey players-ed.).... -
-"Puck bunnies", are they real?" -
-"What do you think? Of course they exist." -
-"What we saw on 'Lance" and the girls who were waiting for players in hotels, does it happen like that in real life? Is it as intense?"-"More in reality than in the series. Why do you think the Canadiens organization has offered players to bring their wives along when they play in Florida? Because they lose there all the time. When they play there, 25 girls are waiting for them after each game!" - My God! If you knew all the stories I have seen in my career "...
To support his claim, he tells some salty stories.
-"One day I was doing an interview with a Montreal player in his room in Buffalo, when another player knocks on his door and asks him if he wanted to try sleeping with two girls at the same time. Another time, during a flight, I saw a Canadiens player do two girls, one after the other, in the bathroom. During the playoffs in Long Island, a dozen members Canadian management were guarding the elevators to ensure that girls didn't get into the players rooms, but they managed to sneak in up the fire escapes."
If I wanted to pierce the mystery, I would have to watch the puck bunnies in their natural habitat: the clubs. To achieve this, I needed an ally, an insider who would show me where the Canadiens players go out on their days off. By researching on the Internet (Carey Price girlfriend), I discovered the blogger JT Utah.
In Quebec, JT is the benchmark for gossip about the Canadiens players. He knows everything about the private lives of Carbo's guys, the trip to Cancun, their one-night stand with girls picked up at the 'Globe' (restaurant/bar-ed.), the colour of their babies' diapers, the size of their penis. During our first contact, he revealed that the players held court on Sunday at Club Opera......

28 September 2008
I agree to meet JT Utah, the blogger at the corner of St. Lawrence and St. Catherine, in the largest bar in Montreal. .... After a quick tour of the place, we head straight to the mezzanine where the Canadiaens players are....
Guillaume Latendresse and his brother Olivier are already at the bar.... The party is well underway..... -
-"You see, there is Francis Bouillon and Maxime Lapierre" JT whispers to me. -
-"Bouillon, that little dwarf?"
-"Listen, you don't know the players?" -
-"It's hard, they always have a helmet on"... -
-"Rule number one, if you want to be a real Puck Bunny, you must be able to identify them. Those who go out are mostly young: Higgins, Kostytsin, Gorges ... Guys like Dandenault, Brisebois and Koivu, are not that sort."

-"Kovalev?" -
-"At 33 and 2 children, he has other things to do than go grind a bunch of groupies at the Opera." - "And Guillaume, didn't he just have a baby?"....

On the mezzanine, the twenty-somthing barbies are quietly entering..... They desperately try to be noticed with great bursts of laughter and false batting of their eyelashes. Next to JT and me, the impressive Mike Pleakanek and Jaroslav Halak order a bucket of Coors Light. Sergei Kostitsyn, Chris Higgins, Carey Price join them, the chicks, too.
Some of them even dare to address a right winger from Saint-Léonard and have a few shooters with him.
-"This is what fame is in Montreal, there aren't really any real big celebrities. Our Hollywood celebrities are Carey Price, who is our Brad Pitt. Mike Komisarek is our Tom Cruise. Georges Laraque is our Lil Wayne!"...

Near us, the players from the Florida Panthers - who played against the Canadiens today - arrive in a VIP bus. Fifteen minutes later, some twenty girls, escorted by the doorman, join them....

At about two o'clock in the morning, I draw attention to young JT, a young college girl grabbing a rookie and taking him on the dance floor. "Check it out!"

The blond places her hand behind the player's neck and gently scratches the front of his neck with her nails. A true-blue Puck Bunny. A second later, they are Frenching full on the mouth. Two seconds later, he grabs her breast. Three seconds later, they play touch pee-pee in a dark corner. Four seconds later, she asks him to stop. Five seconds later, she's gone.

.... I ask JT Utah: - "What happened?"
- "It's because it wasn't big enough. Believe me, if was Carey Price, things would have been different! ..."That guy, all he has to do is choose a girl and ask the barmaid to approach her for him. She'll tell the girl, "Carey Price wants to talk to you." That's it. The deal is closed." -"How do you know that?
-"One of the barmaids who works here told me."....

.....At the bar, a few inches away from us, players are surrounded by a halo of girls. The ratio is 3 to 1 (OK, say "5 to 1 for Carey Price and 1 for 1 for the 4th line guy ). Even the most ugly players, those that I wouldn't touch with a hockey stick, have their own harem...

...It is almost three o'clock in the morning. The players are drunk and are about to choose which girl they're going to bring them home. To help them make their mind, the Puck Bunnies are making indecent proposals, whispering in the hollow of the players' ear, offering sensual kisses and massages of the crotch.

... The competition is fierce and all the stops are pulled out in order to make sure that they finish up the evening in the Nun's Island condo of their favorite player.
... I received a call from a friend who had found a Puck Bunny - 'Jenny', who was prepared to tell all.

The following Wednesday, I suggested that she meet me at 'Radio Lounge' in the Dix30 Complex, where I learned from my research that some of the Brossard Habs were accustomed to hanging out.

29 October 2008
Wednesday evening, 11PM. Radio Lounge is full of about 450 who are wearing Parasuco shirts, but no Canadiens player in sight. I sit on a bench with Jenny, a pretty blond in her twenties who works the clubs.
After a few minutes chatting, she tells me she's been attracted to hockey players since the age of 14.....

- "It's the equipment! I am not like other Puck Bunnies. I'm not into their cash and I don't like the game. I like their package, regardless of their level."
With our vodka and grape juice, Jenny tells me at length of her relationships with players from the Canucks, the Islanders and Quebec Remparts...who incidentally were all cheating....

- "Why do you stay with them?- "Because it's my fantasy. Just seeing them get up in the morning, puting on their jogging to go to the arena, it makes me crazy. It is purely sexual"

.... The interview draws to a close. It is almost one o'clock in the morning and still no trace of CH players. Unable to stay at Dix30 for a second longer I get Jenny to leave. On our way back, crossing the Champlain bridge, I want to talk "tactics."
- "What's your trick for success?
- "First, you need to have an air of a confident slut. Guys are very open to flirting and they love to be approached by beautiful girls. Secondly, you shouldn't look like a groupie. Guys hate girls who just talk their stats.
-"It's not more complicated, than that? "
- "No, it's easy enough. Hockey players, all they want to do is to is score. As they often say: "A hole is a hole.""Child's play."

The next morning, when I arrived at the office, I talked about Jenny to some of the girls on the job.
- "Why don't you try to do one?" challenges one of my colleagues.- "What?
- "A Canadiens player."
- "It seems to me that it would be the best way to understand what they are, right? "
- "You're quite right."

.... Sunday evening.
This time I wear fuck-me-leather boots, a nice pearl necklace and a black dress cut low, just over my lace bra. Walking makes me feel so sexy that I hear "You Can Leave Your Hat On" by Joe Cocker with each of my steps.

- "You're going to Club Opera?" asks the taxi driver who picked me up on Saint-Urbain. - "Yes. How do you know that?- "Hey ... you're all chrome. "

I meet with JT on the inside. Unfortunately, on the mezzanine - the usual haunt - there's no trace of the Habs. Patiently, hoping they come, I ordered a round of tequila shooters, the only thing that can give me the courage to play the part of a Puck Bunny....

...After an hour, I finally see a defenceman climb the stairs to the mezzanine. There's hope.
- "Shit, there is a girl with him. Do you think it's his girlfriend? "
- "You mean one of the blonds," says JT.

... Right in front of us, a big blond kisses the girl first and then turns around to embrace the second. Once done, the two partners French sensuously in front of the player before inviting him to join them. In the end, their three mouths become one. I'm astounded.
- "I can't believe that they dare to do this in front of everyone. Three quarters of the bar must have camera-phones."
- "Yeah, you are right. But imagine how proud these girls will be tomorrow morning when they write it up on Facebook that they Frenched M.....

... I interrupt him to point out Carey Price at the bar. I know because I spent three hours last night studying the player profiles on the Canadiens web site....
"Go talk to him, he's right there." says JT Utah.

The problem is that the goalkeeper is surrounded by three girls with fake breasts and waists the size of my wrist(read: dancers). Second problem is that they are wrapped around him like lioness's protecting their children. I don't think they will let me approach him...
-"If Tom Kostopoulos was here, I think it would be easier."

I approach the bar and try all means to establish eye contact with Carey. I bat my eyelashes, I make hearts with my lips and I smile to myself with frowned eyebrows, to look mysterious.
Carey remained cool. Determined, I stick my two arms against each of my breasts and I push in to enhance my cleavage... No reaction. Nothing, nyet, nada.
The only one who seems intrigued by my little carousel is a neighbor on the left: a young man...who looks like 'Turtle' from 'Entourage.'

I smile. He smiles at me.
- "Who is it? Do you think he is the best friend?"- "No, he's the assistant to the equipment manager of the Canadian."
...It is almost two o'clock in the morning. In front of me, I have the choice between a defenceman who doesn't have enough language to make a pass, a sex-symbol goalie wrapped in dancers and 'Turtle'. If I were a real puck bunny, I'd probably take the second choice. Carey Price, single, rich and incredibly beautiful. But I am not a real Puck Bunny. Anyway, I'm out of my class and can't beat someone with 36-24-36 figure. I'm missing the 24... and the 36.

Except that and despite everything, I'm not desperate enough to do Turtle.
A little respect.
I throw a glance towards the defenceman who is now Frenching two girls, I take a breath and look back to JT:
"Do you know what bars I can find some ordinary guys?"

Quebec Language Wars- Vol. 3

For those French language militants who hold that the French language is on the decline in Montreal, here's further proof that English is taking over;

FIVE BILINGUAL WEEKLIES GO FRENCH-ONLY

Five bilingual weekly newspapers in the Montreal area are now publishing in French only.

The publisher, Transcontinental Media, says articles in both French and English were taking up too much space in print, but is providing English translations on their websites.

Le Messager in Verdun, Le Messager in Lachine-Dorval, Le Messager in LaSalle, Le Magazine in Nuns' Island and Le Magazine Sud-ouest are the five weekly papers affected by the change.

read the rest of the article CTV news link

Here's an interesting letter/article that appeared in vigle.net entitled;

BLACKBURN OFFERS RELIEF TO THE ANGLOPHONES
(Blackburn soulage les anglophones)

"We have recently learned that tax relief will be available to victims Earl Jones.

Indeed, Federal Minister of Revenue, the Québécois and Canadian Jean-Pierre Blackburn, is ready to propose tax breaks for investors who were cheated by Earl Jones.

He explained that the law allows the Department to waive penalties and interest that apply to taxpayers unable to meet their obligations because of extraordinary circumstances.

The Minister calls for taxpayers affected by the alleged fraud of Earl Jones to contact the Canada Revenue Agency to find a solution.

Tax officials will analyze each on a case-by-case basis.

Did you hear Minister Blackburn offer such tax relief to victims of Vincent Lacroix of Norbourg? If so, please give me the reference.

If not, could the intervention by the Minister, in the case of the victims Earl Jones, be explained by the fact that many of the cheated investors were English, like the anglo woman who lost more than seven million and appeared on Radio-Canada's 'Télé-journal' and who spoke French very well indeed.

As a fiscal principle that "what is good for goose is good for gander", cheated Norbourg investors would be pleased to learn that the Federal Minister of Revenue is also thinking of them, even if they were overwhelmingly Francophone. After all, they also have the right to vote and are Canadian citizens. They may even hold a Canadian passport. They'll vote in the next federal election as will their many friends who sympathize with their misfortunes."

Robert Barberis-Gervais and Marcelle Viger, Longueuil, August 1, 2009

In discussing the possible partition of Quebec in the case of independence. Normand Rousseau in an article in an article in vigel.net writes;

"It's very simple. Quebec's territory represents 16% of the territory of Canada and its population is 24%. So an independent Quebec would be disproportionately small. There is no question of reducing it further, on the contrary Quebec would be entitled to claim Labrador, Acadia, and even the French part of Ontario."

Daniel Sénéchal in an in an article entitled Fête nationale et nation civique in vigel.net writes;

"We shouldn't dream, the hyper privileged minority of anglos from Quebec and their assimilated allies have always treated it as an evil and contemptuous duty to stand outside and apart all that is Quebec. Their rallying point-all that is English. Ms. David and others may not even know that Anglos and their ilk are first and foremost Americanized-Canadians, primarily hostile to our symbols, our language and in a broader sense, to our identity."

Luc Archambault in the Tribune libre de Vigile writes

"June 24th is the national holiday of the people of Quebec, a celebration of a sovereign people. July 1 is the celebration of an illegitimate state. It is not one of a nation, because there is more than one nation in this state. It is well and good, a partisan holiday of an abusive state that imposes usurped authority without the acceptance of the sovereign people of Quebec, who alone are capable, on its own territory to validate a legitimate state emanating from itself. This isn't the case in Canada."

Finally, an opinion piece in the newspaper LE DEVOIR. You can read the original in French here

Food Chainstore or Chainstore of voluntery enslavement
(Chaîne alimentaire ou chaîne de l'asservissement volontaire ?)

An Open Letter to Quebec Metro Stores:

Metro is now the only Quebec-owned supermarket and so I tend to give it priority in my food shopping. Alas, I have strong reservations about the direction of your business, which explains why I have abandoned METRO in recent years (more than five years). Two basic reasons, which ultimately join together as in a funnel, are at issue here.

First reason: the music in your supermarket is unbearable. Your propensity to abuse your customers with the songs of the Anglo-American industry is an aberration which goes against, in my view, all the "intelligence" that we could legitimately expect from a company of your caliber and size and I would add: your nationality. We have in our language, in Quebec, a treasure: French songs (from here or elsewhere) of high quality. But you treat your guests as if they were U.S. nationals (or Canadian) or ... 13 years old. Providing such a atmosphere, invites customers to turn on their heels and leave.

Second reason: the lack of respect you have, for the French language in general, which is largely trivialized, when not altogether treated subservient to the English language.

This is the case with your weekly bilingual advertising flyer. In Quebec, where the official language is French, English is spoken by less than 8% of the population while 82% are francophone. The remaining 10% are Allophones and are obliged under the Charter of the French language, to opt for French (at school, etc.).. METRO behaves as if Quebec was half-English and half-French. This is a social and political choice that is indefensible, especially for a Quebec company. The phenomenon is even more contemptuous in that this "great bilingual country called Canada (outside Quebec), the same advertising remain stubbornly monolingually English.

Your behavior, which I bluntly call "colonized" affects numerous areas including your choice of music, which I talked about before, or your house brands that give priority to English. It's an insult, "Selection," "Irresistible," "Merit/Merite ... that we note in passing, the absence of French language diacritical marks, which adds insult to injury,

How about the visual placement of English in the upper and/or left side) of the description of a product (ingredients, instructions, etc..), while the French is usually (though not always) relegated to second place.

And that's not counting the staff who very frequently have the English side of the product rather than the French side facing customers on the shelves, as if this was an innocuous gesture, perfectly irrelevant or insignificant.

Even your name (!) - Hello, Quebecor! - denies your Quebeckness, as you make sure not to include the French accent on the 'E' in METRO. Do you say "Meeeutro" or "Metro" ... ?

In short, even if your competitors don't behave much better than you - Provigo is arrogant with the systematic bilingualism of all its floorspace, including the displays - I have long attempted, in spite of everything, to remain faithful to "Metro".
But I ended up getting tired of your ways, which have never changed over the years, quite the contrary. This explains my propensity for many years, to pay a little more (but not necessarily all the time), to encourage small shopkeepers (butchers, fine delicatessens, etc..) who stand for both intelligence, self-esteem and elegance to serve us in French, including, where appropriate, with regard to the music. And sometimes, yes, they offer the simple yet so rare silence, we forget too easily it's delicious properties, even soothing, to the incessant cacophony of urban life.

In the end, I can understand (at least theoretically) why here in Quebec, a Canadian or U.S. company tries to ram the English language down our throat. In this case, I tell myself that it is up to us, citizens and consumers, because of the failure of our government to act, to adopt the appropriate behavior and no longer set foot in these stores and shop elsewhere. But I lose it completely when it comes to Quebec companies who act the same, Jean Coutu pharmacies and/or Brunet Van Houtte coffees.

One (friendly) suggestion, do as you want in Canada, but in Quebec, bilingualism (if not your English supremacy) is absolutely unacceptable.

Be dignified and courageous, people of METRO. And in the future, I believe, you can act as an enlightened corporate citizen. I might add that this may act as an example in the Quebec of tomorrow. It will have a "training effect".

Clearly, all we want is to reverse the policy of putting 8% and 82% (or 92%) of a population on the same level, a commercially wise and intelligent decision... And I 'm not even talking about the extremely fragility of the French language, which, if it is still a majority in Quebec, remains heavily minority in Canada, the Americas and ... on the planet.

In short, the citizen-consumer that I am, asked of METRO one thing only: to stop immediately to play the role of a Trojan horse in our own country. As a result, all the other Provigos and Second Cups in the country of Gilles Vigneault will be required to do so too. And dignity will prevail. Finally.

Jean-Luc Gouin, Philosopher, defender of the French Language