Air Transat "Speak-White" Tragicomedy

Nothing gets certain Quebeckers riled up faster than a good "Speak White" story, one where the Francophone protagonist is thrashed around rather cruelly by an arrogant Anglophone imposing the language of Shakespeare on the innocent and down-trodden.

As you may know, the genre originated back in the 1960's, when stories circulated popularizing the myth of matronly white-haired Anglophone clerks in the old Eaton's Department Store in downtown Montreal, demanding that francophones address them in English, using that mythically famous put-down of "SPEAK WHITE!"

Over the years, stories like these continued to make it into print, largely based on the ever popular notion that anglophones are oppressors. These stories can always be recognized by the absolute callousness and cruelty displayed by the Anglo antagonist and the absolute innocence of the put-upon francophone.

Richard Martineau is a popular writer for Le Journal de Montreal and has delivered some hilarious examples of the genre in the past. I wrote about one such story he spun once before.

At any rate, Mr. Martineau weaves another unlikely 'SPEAK WHITE' story, this one about his trip aboard an AIR TRANSAT flight to Greece and his 'intolerable' treatment at the hands of an anglophone cabin crew.
As he tells the story, his wife asked  for "Un jus d’orange, s’il vous plaît"  and was rewarded with a blank stare and an arrogant "What?" from the agent. LINK (French)

"Don't you speak French?" his wife demanded.

....and away we go! ---      SPEAK WHITE!!!!!

First of all, I imagine that most of you non French-speaking readers perusing this article can figure out what she wanted-  Orange juice, right?  (Un jus d’orange.)

Maybe you didn't, but for an air hostess, even a unilingual one, who pushes a food cart around for a living, not to understand this phrase is quite a stretch. I assume that any air hostess of experience would know the term for orange juice in at least six languages.
I bet she even understands such complicated French words like Scotch, Whiskey, Vin, Coca-Cola, Seven-up, Gingerale, Chips, and perhaps even the tough ones, like café and thé.

Now answering anyone with the familiar and somewhat rude "What?" instead of the polite "Excuse Me?"or "Pardon me?"  is another tell that this story is highly coloured. Airline people don't talk like that, even on AIR TRANSAT.  This is what happens when people embellish their stories and put words in other people's mouths.

Now the fact that this certain employee couldn't speak French doesn't surprise me that much, what does shock me, is that AIR TRANSAT  actually provides orange juice!
After all, when you fly a budget airline, you've got to make a few allowances.

I'm sure that somewhere on the plane there was a couple of members of the cabin crew that spoke fluent French. It certainly isn't a rule that every crew member speaks both English and French and to assume so is arrogant. But I'm sure Air Transat, if asked,  would confirm that they didn't send a plane out of Montreal without anyone who could speak French. It is beyond the scope of credulity.

The story gets more and more unlikely with another member of the AIR TRANSAT crew purportedly haranguing  the francophone family in Greek. When Mr. Martineau responded that he didn't speak Greek, the attendant told him;
" Oh no ? You don’t speak Greek ? Well, I don’t speak French. What’s the problem ? "

Nope..... it didn't happen....Not a chance........ Cabin crews do not engage in wars of words with passengers, they usually fight back by ignoring you.

It's quite likely that the family simply took offence that the agent didn't speak French and instead of asking for someone who did, or speak English themselves, they decided to make a fuss. Some people are like that.

I remember an incident in my youth, as a retail clerk being confronted by a customer who complained that an article in our store showcase window was ticketed at a cheaper price than similar items on the rack. He was quite angry and complained about the misleading advertising, quite vociferously. When I offered him the product at the same low price, he told me he wasn't interested in buying anything, he just thought we should know! Hmmm!!
I remember thinking to myself-  "GET A LIFE!"

Instead of bitching and moaning, perhaps Mr. Martineau's companion should have thanked the cabin crew for the practice, they'd be landing in Greece in the next few hours and they'd be well-served to brush up on their English, because, trust me, French ain't cutting it in Greece (I know, I just returned, myself.)

What's interesting about all this is the amount of interest the story generated, the hundred plus comments attached to the article attest to the power of these fairy tales.

Most commenters were understandably shocked and dismayed at the ultimate humiliation that the French language was subjected to, once again. Quebec's most active defender of the language faith, Louis Prefontaine instantly organized a boycott of Air Transat via Facebook, but for those travelling on budget airlines, paying double or triple on Air Canada doesn't seem like much of an option.
Perhaps it would be better and cheaper to practice just a few English phrases, when travelling on the likes of Air Transat;

"May I have some orange juice. please?" 

"Can you help me, I can't feel my legs anymore?"

"Can I pay extra for an arm rest?"

"Is that smell normal?"

"What do you mean, the seat doesn't move back?"

"There seems to be something wrong with my...light....tray...seatbelt...earplug..etc" 

Or you could try these handy Greek phrases;

Thank you............     Ay gamisou, vlaka! 

What did you say? ...........tea less ray malaka?

Orange Juice.......................Fila mou to kolo

Can you help me........Kane mou pipa

 

My favourite comment from these French language militants is this pearl;

• To  what extent do people from other places not understand that the only official language in Quebec is French, while Canada is bilingual.

Hmmm...

But not everyone was so convinced, here are some 'other' translated comments.

• ....at wages that Air Transat pays its employees, I don't know many people who want to work at $20,000 per year to go about flying day after day ... especially in those old aeroplanes. If all the agents had to be absolutely bilingual it would be hard to find Quebeckers to fill the jobs.
  
  
• I hope you had a good trip in Europe speaking French.(sarcasm) You are criticizing for criticism's sake, Mr. Martineau. 
  
  
•  I believe you either exaggerated or invented your story. Accusing a crew member of  being a 'DAMN ENGLISH' demonstrates a lack of etiquette and civility and the smallness of your mind imbued with hatred and malice, and reminds us of  Don Quixote who tilted at windmills which he mistaked for monsters. 
  
  
• What is with this obsession of always demonizing Anglos? Some of you are like "Dan Phillips", crying racism at every opportunity ... You have the same credibility
  

Quebec Music Festival Hits the Right Note

Much to the chagrin of language militants, the  Festival d'été de Québec, an annual  summer music festival held in Quebec City on the Plains of Abraham, has turned out to be a stunning success. The 42nd edition of the festival is a tribute to organizers, who despite relentless criticism from language militants, produced what is arguably Quebec's most successful entertainment event, eclipsing Montreal's famous Jazz Festival with revenues from ticket sales approaching $7 million as compared to the Jazz Fest's $6 million.

The FEQ uses the massive Plains of Abraham as a giant outdoor venue, which with the addition of giant screens can pack in a huge crowd. For that reason, ticket prices are extremely reasonable and an all-festival pass cost between $40 and $50.

The festival quickly sold out, the over 150,000 passes it made available and considering that the population of Quebec City is under 500,000 that's quite an accomplishment. The FEQ is gathering in popularity and the English component is bringing in tourists from the United States as well as English Canada, who recognize a good deal when they see one.

Extremely well organized, the FEQ has organized hotel and entertainment packages at prices that shame other Montreal giant events. A daily pass is just $25 and represents the best entertainment value available.

Language militants have complained that too many headline acts are English, (Iron Maiden, Black-Eyed Peas, Rush, etc.etc.) essentially watering down the French flavour of the Festival, to which the organizers bravely responded that they never, ever, promised anything but a diverse and entertaining array of artists that would be musically appealing to the broadest of audiences.

In a new conference, the organizers crowed that their programming decisions seemed to please the public and happily reported that all the festival passes were 'sold out,' to which French militants responded cleverly that it was nothing more than a 'sell out' and that the English programming was nothing more than 'fast food' compared to the gourmet offerings of francophone artists. Link (French)

The slam against the festival that they didn't program enough Francophone artists is in itself as bogus as a three-dollar bill. Organizers did their best and explained the difficulty in bringing in European artists who generally prefer to stay at home in the summer. To bring in more Francophone artists would mean scraping the bottom of the barrel and presenting a local garage band or two and the music lovers wouldn't have any of that.

At any rate,  Iron Maiden drew a crowd of approximately 80,000 people and the Black-Eyed Peas did even better, to the point that the fans were tearing down fences to get to see the sold-out show!

Francophone headliners like Laura Fabian, drew in the neighbourhood of 15,000 fans and Gilles Vigneault in the area of 40,000 fan,  not close to the Anglo superstars, but still not shabby at all.

The success of the English artists allowed the Festival to subsidize Francophone artists, an idea that went down like a lead balloon once explained to militants, who had been complaining that a Quebec government subsidy was benefiting Anglo groups.

Reaction to articles written by the language militants like Antoine Caron were quite robust. Commenting on the article that compared Anglo music to McDonalds, one commenter didn't mince words.

"According to the author of this article, the Quebec Summer festival should highlight only second-class artists such as  Mr. Caron, himself,  Honestly!"

With their argument torn to shreds, language hawks were sent scurrying, to fight another battle, another day.

Is Census Brouhaha Based on Language?

As you probably know, the Federal government has decided to dump the long form component of the national census ostensibly over privacy concerns. The long form was distributed to about one in five families and took around 45 minutes to complete. It asked some very intrusive questions which those unlucky enough to be selected had no choice but to answer, under penalty by law.
Defenders of the long form are up in arms at the government's decision, claiming that the information gleaned is a crucial element in determining allocation of resources in key areas like the health industry.

So entrenched is the idea that the long-form is vital to Canada's future that not only has a robust campaign been launched by vested interests, a FACEBOOK group has been started up for ordinary Canadians to voice and demonstrate their displeasure at the government's decision to axe it.
But not everyone agrees, especially not the FRASIER INSTITUTE.

"The think tank, an evangelist for free-market solutions, says it's wrong for the state to coerce Canadians into handing over personal information that should instead be obtained on a voluntary basis through market research or polling.

Senior economist Niels Veldhuis says the chorus of criticism that's opposing the census change are groups that have been benefiting from relatively cheaply-obtained data gleaned from the mandatory long-form questionnaire."  Read More "No more free ride on census data, Fraser Institute says"

 Last week the language commissioner waded in as well;

"Graham Fraser, commissioner of official languages, said he would examine whether the government respected its obligations under the Official Languages Act when it made the decision late last month. The mandatory long census form is being replaced with a voluntary survey next year."   LINK

Perhaps one of the factors in the Conservative decision to dump the long-form is the general contempt that the party has for Statistics Canada, especially in light of the apparent data manipulation by some Francophones outside Quebec in the 2006 edition.

It seems that an anonymous e-mail urged bilingual Francophones outside Quebec, 'not to report' that they knew both official languages, in order to assure that the federal government would not cut services to French programs. This erroneous assumption (bilingualism has nothing to do with apportioned services) led many bilingual Francophones to declare that they only spoke French, leading to a spike in the data pertaining to unilingual Francophones. 

The Ottawa Citizen reported that Statistics Canada put a note on its website, explaining that;

"In view of the data, however, it seems plausible that the e-mail influenced some francophones in their responses to the question on knowledge of official languages,''

But StatsCan is changing it's tune, having removed the note and now claiming that they have no idea why the statistical anomaly exists.

Rosemary Bender, an assistant chief statistician with the agency, is now telling anyone that will listen, that there could be other reasons for the drop in francophone bilingualism outside Quebec.

This back-tracking seems to be a reaction to a robust counter-attack by certain francophone groups, who are claiming that the notion that information was manipulated is unproven. In an article on June 4, the Maritime-based Franco.presse.ca accused the Ottawa Citizen of carrying out a witch hunt. The article did its own analysis to defend the new StatsCan numbers.

Whether or not there was a manipulation of data is perhaps moot, the bigger problem is what would have happened with next year's census, in light of all the publicity of the false reporting.

What may have been a small problem back in 2006 may have become a massive problem in 2011 with more and more francophones aware of the gambit and climbing aboard the language fraud.

Some Quebec commentators have voiced fury over the decision to get rid of detailed questions about language because they believe that the long form will prove that French is in a precipitous decline.

'....Consider the state of French, especially in the Montreal area, where it's becoming a major concern. With the abandonment of the long form, researchers will no longer be able to monitor the situation with the same precision. "For Quebec, it is a matter of survival," wrote demographer this week in the pages of Victor Piché Forum Press. "In the absence of ethnic data and detailed language, anyone can say anything! How will we know in the future if the language policies are effective? It's opened the way for the worst demagoguery!" It goes without saying that the francophone minorities outside Quebec are also outraged.' LINK (Fr)

And so the elimination of the long-form solves the problem neatly.
The short-form questionnaire doesn't ask about bilingualism, something that infuriates the language militants, but is pleasing to the Conservatives party.

Quebec Militants Complain over Lack Of French at Toronto Protest

Some Quebec Francophones who demonstrated at the G8 Summit in Toronto are complaining  they were unjustly targeted by police and when arrested were harshly treated.  As well, some of those who were arrested, complained that they weren't 'treated' in French.

In an article by a student demonstrator in LE DEVOIR, Arnaud Montreuil complained that ordinary Quebeckers were unsympathetic to the plight of those Quebeckers arrested in Toronto;

"...the protesters from Quebec were particularly battered by the police. First, they were arrested in a targeted,  discriminatory manner, based on their home province. Then, in prison, many were insulted and told to leave the country if they were not happy, as we would say to a second class citizen.

And what is the reaction at home? According to an Angus Reid poll, 71% of Quebec respondents said the actions of police against demonstrators were justified .

It's likely that Toronto police overstepped their mandate and perhaps exceeded their authority by casting their net a bit too wide, but it's amusing to see anarchists complaining that the police weren't playing by the rules.

Now I know many of you will say that most of those arrested were not anarchists, just innocent protesters, availing themselves of their constitutional right to assemble and demonstrate, but it's hard to feel sympathy for them, given the fact that they knew exactly what they were getting into.

When I was kid, my mother didn't let me go to rock festivals because, as she said, "That's where the drugs are!"

Everybody knew exactly what was to happen in Toronto, there is a history of violence by protesters and  history of over-reaction by the forces of order, at these type of summits.

So I'll brook no crocodile tears or woeful lamentations from those who complain that they were shocked by events and the harsh treatment they received. I'm sure that most who went to demonstrate were well prepared to be arrested and perhaps found the experience more than they bargained for.

As for targeting Francophones, I've no doubt it's true. There were complaints that cars with Quebec license plates were arbitrarily pulled over for inspection and that those speaking French on the street were stopped.
It seems that police made it a policy to stop any 'suspicious' person and Quebecers stood out like a sore thumb.

The CBC posted a ridiculously biased article on its website with the inflammatory headline;

"G20 officer admitted targeting Quebecers: student"

The story told by a Montreal law student, who first claimed to be an innocent observer but then admitted that he was a demonstrator himself. He claimed officers admitted they were targeting Quebeckers by virtue of their license plates or by overhearing people speaking French on the street. One Francophone complained that she was unfairly arrested when she was found in possession of an anarchist manual!

In spite of the one-sided reporting, the public remains solidly behind the police which is frustrating the hell out of those demanding an inquiry.

My favourite story is told by Emilie Guimond-Bélanger, a member of Québec Solidaire, a separatist political party more radical than the Parti Quebecois. In a YouTube video she recounts a tearful tale of woe at the hands of the evil Ontario authorities. Flanked by the intrepid Amar Khadir, she claims to have gone to Toronto for the sole purpose of demonstrating in favour of abortion rights, but was scooped up by police and placed in detention.

Among her biggest complaint was the lack of French among the warders of the detention centre and she told the unlikeliest story about a co-prisoner, who according to Ms. Guimond-Bélanger, was borderline psychotic and spoke no English. She tried to tell jailers that she needed her medication, but to no avail, because nobody spoke French. Eventually she had a breakdown, started climbing the walls and was rushed to hospital, a sad state of affairs all due to the lack of French by the jailers.
Now I've heard bullshit stories in my life, but that one's a beauty. My advice to this lady is that in the future she wear a Medic-Alert bracelet with the word PSYCHO emblazoned upon it and travel with an English-speaking companion!
By the way, the sweet and innocent, Ms. Guimond-Bélanger is one of the few demonstrators that was actually charged with a crime. Hmmm..

I screened a bunch of videos and the level of arrogance demonstrated by Quebec demonstrators astounded me. In one particular video two Francophones approach a line of heavily armoured officers and carry on a mocking conversion at very close quarters. I'm sure the officer had no idea what they were saying and it must of made him quite nervous. If I was him, I'd bop one of these smart asses on the head just for sport.

At any rate, here is my favourite video of a dedicated G20 demonstrator.
Watch it. If you haven't seen it, I guarantee it'll bring a smile to your face!

A Big Thank You to Generous Canadian Taxpayers!

A great big thank you is owed to all the taxpayers in all the 'have' provinces, who have graciously agreed to ship billions and billions of dollars in transfer payments to Quebec. Yesterday, because of your extreme generosity, the province was able to unveil a new social program, one that will pay for fertility treatments for couples unable to conceive. The program goes way beyond Manitoba's stingy tax credit of up to $8000 per couple. Link

The fertility program, the first of its kind in North America will pay for up to three cycles of treatment, at a cost of between $10,000 and $30,000 per couple, or $25-$65 million in all, paid for by, ahem...the province.
This, according to the Minister of Health Yves Bolduc, but others disagree and see the program's cost ballooning up towards $200 million. Gaetan Barrette, the head of Quebec's doctor's professional order, pointed out that it takes just three months of residency to obtain a medicare card and he envisions women moving to Quebec expressly for the treatments, similar to those women who moved to Las Vegas in the fifties and sixties seeking a legal divorce. 
At any rate it seem eminently fair, considering that it is taxpayers from other provinces that are really funding the program.

Now to those of you out of province taxpayers who are footing the bill, you should know that Quebec is doing you a favour by trailblazing social programs that your province will be pressured to match. 

And so you can thank us for your $7.50 a day daycare, your gilded parental leave program and of course your ridiculously low college tuition fees.
"What's that you say? "
"You don't have these programs?"

Hmmmm......... Don't blame us, we've led the way. Tell your governments to get off their ass!"

And don't tell us you want to reduce transfer payments either, just because the economy is down and there's less money coming in. 

Take solace in the old joke wherein a bum complains to his benefactor that his weekly gift is much smaller than usual?
"Business is down this week, what can I say?"
"So just because your business is down,  I should suffer!!"......... HA! HA!


 By the way, Quebec City needs a new arena.....