The worst of 2009.......Happy New Year!

Here's collection of dubious crap I found on the Internet in 2009.

Let's start with the worst puff piece of the year, an article extolling the virtues Brian Mulroney and Ruby Dhalla by John Geddes in Macleans on May 12. If this article doesn't make you puke, you have a strong stomach!!

Service, sacrifice. Mulroney, Dhalla.

Two politicians in Ottawa today, one retired, the other active, provided glimpses into the unsung, selfless motivations of public servants.

Brian Mulroney, the former prime minister, testifying at the Oliphant inquiry, explained how that unfortunate business with Karlheinz Schreiber all began with Mulroney’s deeply felt desire to bring prosperity to poor Nova Scotia. “Let me tell you this,” he said, “you’re the prime minister of Canada, and you’ve got areas of your country, particularly disadvantaged areas, central or eastern Nova Scotia, where unemployment rates had frequently gone as high as 50 per cent, and somebody comes in and says, ‘I can create a modern plant with new technology, with an export dimension to it, and I can create 500 or 1,000 new jobs, with multiplier spin-offs.’ You can bet your bottom dollar that I, or any other prime minister, is interested immediately.” Ruby Dhalla, the current MP for Brampton-Springdale, laid bare the bitter irony of her facing allegations of mistreatment from two caregivers who testified earlier this morning, since they are precisely the sort of women for whom Dhalla has given so very much. “I can tell you with everything in me,” she said, “the women that spoke today, these are the same women that I have been trying to help. When you take a look at the stats on the number of women that are in Parliament today, we’re at 22 per cent, and you take a look at the number of ethnic women and then you break that down to even young women, we don’t have too many. And there is a reason for that. And every initiative that I’ve championed in my own riding—I’ve created organizations to empower women, to talk about domestic abuse… And it’s these women that I’m trying to help and have spent my whole career and sacrificed my life for. ”

arghh........
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The worst Canadian Headlines of the Year.

"Air Canada trialling inflight internet"

"Nintendo Wii sells out in North America and Canada."

"Christmas tree farmer expects pre-holiday rush."

"La Coalition pour l'incontinence demande de l'aide"

("The coalition for Incontinence asks for help")

Manitoba polar bears may woo Obama's daughters
"Lions coach a big fan of Maple Leafs growing up"

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The worst sound bite of the year. Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc Quebecois giving us some valuable insight;

An interview worthy of the "Yes Prime Minister" award.

The worst French Acroynms in English

• ASSS l'Agence de la santé et des services sociaux

• CRAP - Coalition contre la répression et les abus policiers

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and finally........ Things that made me laugh in 2009!!!

World's worst sports announcer!!

Interesting test answers.........

no comment.........

......and for all you people out there contemplating a New Year's resolution to lose weight.

Jared from Subway is now fat again........(sigh.......)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Dubious Distinction Quiz - 2009

Here's a reminder of some of the more dubious events and personalities of 2009. How many can you identify? There are no links or tags, so you'll have to figure it out yourself or do your own surfing.
There are 30 possible points. If you get over twenty-five on your own you can claim to be a Quebec news junkie. Twenty points is great, fifteen is a pass.
I prepared the quiz , but only scored 24, sheeesh!
Go for it.

Let's warm up with some easy ones;

1.Who is the Anglophone fraudster that made headlines after ripping off his closest friends and family?

2. Who is this convicted Francophone fraudster who finished up his Mickey Mouse jail sentence only to be charged again?






3. Who is this ex-Montreal politician who fled the political scene in disgrace after being caught taking campaign contributions from dubious sources, while arrogantly running on a cleanup campaign.






4. Who is this ex-PQ politician who ran for Mayor of Montreal against Gerald Tremblay and lost, proving that Montrealers would rather vote for a mob-controlled city hall, than a unilingual separatist.

5. Who is this ex-Montreal politician who resigned his position at City Hall ahead of a scandal that revealed he had taken a vacation aboard a yacht owned by a Montreal businessman who won a lucrative contract under his watch.

6. Who is this camera shy Montreal businessman who was at the center of at least three major scandals concerning contracts with Montreal city hall and whose companies are the subject of continuing police corruption investigations in the construction industry?

7. In early Spring Premier Charest announced that the Caisse de Depot (the custodian of the provinces pension money) had taken a massive 40 billion dollar bath in the market meltdown under the stewardship of this man, who abandoned ship before the announcement with a golden parachute of over $300,000, in hand. Who is he?

8. After stalling and delays, an inquest finally got under way concerning a tragic incident involving this teenager?

9. What is the name of this publicity hound clown who bought his way into space?

10. What is the nick name of this hideous retro hockey sweater shamelessly hawked by the Montreal Canadiens in honour of their 100^th anniversary.

11. Subject to a vicious smear campaign by Francophone nationalists and sovereignists, this man took over one of the top jobs in Quebec. Who is he?

12. What is the name of this Montreal Canadien who makes $7.5 million and plays like he should be in Hamilton?

13. Who is this famous Quebec artist that came under fire for his impassioned reading of the FLQ Manifest at the Moulin a Paroles event staged by nationalists on the Plains of Abraham this past summer?

14. Which famous Quebec singer made the news by jumping the queue and getting the H1N1 shot for himself and his family before being eligible and then lying about it, before doing a mea culpa on a French language talk-show?

15. This power couple came under fire for producing last year's infamous BYE-BYE new Year's eve show on Radio-Canada that mocked Obama for being black and Quebec paedophile victim Nathalie Simard. They held an unconvincing news conference in January to set matters straight.
Name one or the other to claim a point.
Hint..... The woman producer is the daughter of the big shot producer who went to jail for abusing Ms. Simard, which is essentially what the public found so unfunny. One point if you can name one, two for identifying both.

16. This organization and it's leader came under fire for opposing the inclusion of English artists in the annual summer national celebration. Name the organization or the man pictured to the right to claim your point, two points for both.





17. These two federal Liberal politicians fought over the right to run in the Outremont riding in Montreal, currently held by NDP pit bull Thomas Mulcair. As the fight escalated Michael Ignatieff took another serious hit to his already diminished credibility. One point if you can name either, two for identifying both.

18 . This Quebec firebrand is the head of a radical French language sovereignty group that forced the cancellation of the re-enactment of the Battle of the Plains of Abraham this summer, by hinting at a violent confrontation. Name him or the organization that he heads for one point, two for both.





19 . Gérald Gallant, a convicted murderer already serving a life sentence, turned informant and helped police arrest 10 suspects involved in various murders. Mr. Gallant stunned everyone by admitting that he was a major hit man who had fulfilled many 'contracts' on various underworld figures.
On March 31, he pleaded guilty to murdering how many people?
a 8, b. 11, c. 19, d. 20, e. 27



20. In one of the worst cases of family murder, Cathie Gauthier, a Chicoutimi resident was found guilty in October of murdering her husband and three children.
How did she manage to kill them all?

a. Drug overdose. b. House fire c. Firearm d. Drowning


21. A Quebec sports icon was convicted of perjury and given a suspended sentence in May, in relation to the trial of his out of control son who was also convicted earlier in the year resulting in a fifteen month conditional sentence on an array of charges including forcible confinement, making death threats, and assault. One point if you can name the father or the son, two for identifying both.

22. Another Quebec sports legend's son got in trouble and went to trial for an assault during a sporting match. After receiving an absolute discharge the son wisely decided to pursue a singing career. Name him or his famous father. One point if you can name the father or the son, two for identifying both.


23. Proving once again that being born rich is no guarantee of a successful life, this daughter of a famous Quebec media tycoon (deceased) found herself arrested once again in July for cocaine possession for the umpteenth time.
Hint.... You'll remember her brutal arrest at the hands of the Montreal police caught on film by a television news helicopter in 2005. One point if you can name her father, two for identifying both.



SPOILER ALERT>>>>>>> SPOILER ALERT>>>>>>>>>>SPOILER ALERT>>>>>

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ANSWERS

1. Earl Jones
2. Vincent Lacroix
3. Louise Harel
4. Benoit Labonté
5. Frank Zampino
6. Tony Accurso
7. Henri-Paul Rousseau
8. Fredy Villanueva
9. Guy Laliberté
10. Barbershop
11. Michael Sabia
12. Brian Gionta
13. Luck Merville
14. Claude Dubois
15. Veronique Cloutier & Louis Morissette
16. Claude Beaulieu & La Société Saint-Jean-Baptiste
17. Denis Coderre & Martin Cauchon
18. Patrick Bourgeois & Réseau de Résistance du Québécois (RRQ)
19. e. 27
20. a. Drug overdose.
    
21. Guy Lafleur & Mark Lafleur
22. Patrick Roy, Jonathon Roy
23. Pierre Péladeau, Anne-Marie Péladeau

English, English Everywhere!!!!

This year the French press embraced a new genre of pseudo news stories wherein Francophone letter writers regale readers with stories of language discrimination by haughty Anglophones who supposedly refuse to speak French.
These stories play to a receptive audience of language zealots who share a common persecution complex which is fed by stories as unlikely as the mythical English Eaton's matron of yore, who told Francophones to "SPEAK WHITE"

Let's start with a recent letter to Le Devoir by Maurice Leduc

"I was walking down a street in my neighbourhood when a man hailed me from across the street. I approached him and he asked me in English for directions to Bloomfield Street. I replied: "Don't you speak French?" He answered that he did and repeated his question in French and I gave him the directions. I then added: "May I ask you why you addressed me in English first?" He seemed a little surprised by my question and replied, again very politely: "But Outremont is English!" I replied in turn:" But we're in Quebec and in Quebec we speak French!

His attitude and his tone changed abruptly. He addressed me, shouting: "Oh! You are one of those. Fuck you."And he walked away, continuing to shout other obscenities."

The writer goes on to say that the man was "an allophone, not only a stranger to my neighbourhood, but to my country as well"

Hmmmm. Nice attitude! What a neato story.
Too bad it's improbable, too neat and contrived. Since the man was obviously recognizable as a 'foreigner' and the neighbourhood was Outremont, it's most likely that the person was a member of an ultra-religious Jewish sect known as the Hasids.
In Quebec, the word 'foreigner' accompanied by 'Outremont' is code for 'Hasid.' The idea that a Hasid became abusive in this situation is just about impossible, he would have just turned away. In fact, that he asked for directions is even less likely, he'd have used a cell phone. Hasids don't mingle if they can help it and would never start an argument on language. The story is not credible. The idea that a Hasid or any allophone is going to harangue and abuse a poor Francophone over language in the middle of a street, is as absurd as the mythical "Speak White" stories of the past.

Richard Martineau is a Journal de Montreal staff hack who turns out a trashy column which often bitches about anglophones.
In one particualrly distasteful column he makes the same complaints as the letter writer above. He complains that his wife went to a manicure store and everything was in English with no one capable of speaking a word of French.
He then describes how he chastised a lowly car attendant for not being able to speak French and complains about a children's activity centre that is wholly focused in English. Then a complaint about a restaurant hostess who doesn't speak French. ETCETERA ETCETERA.

These anecdotal stories serve no purpose other to inflame. Mr. Martineau fails as a journalist to tell us who exactly these people are and the names of the stores and restaurants that are guilty. He violates almost every principle of fair journalism by keeping things so vague that it is impossible to verify, due to lack of detail. This shoddy and sensational journalism, typical of Le Journal de Montreal is fodder for the insatiable appetites of their low-brow readers, who hold that there is an organized plot against Francophones by vicious Anglos.

Finally let me share with you the biggest nose stretcher of them all. A certain Daniel Roy tells the story of how he and a patient he was accompanying were abused in a medical clinic in Dollard des Ormeaux. Link

On May 16, 2009, I accompanied a sick person to his appointment with a doctor in a clinic in Dollard-des-Ormeaux where the receptionist greeted us in English first. Over the intercom, again in English first, we were invited to go to a certain room. When the doctor entered the room, I hastened to say hello to make sure of being served in French.

She said "Hi" to me and "Hi" to the patient. She asked the patient to "Please come sit on the table." I then told the doctor, "You're putting a lot of ardour in trying to impose English on us. She said, "I do not understand the word 'ardour' and so I replaced the word with 'effort.' She then replied, "When I enter the room, I worry about the patient first, not the language, and you're the only customer complaining, so don't be so sticky about it. I asked her to repeat in French what she just said, but she replied that she did not know how to. I told her that I will remember this word 'sticky'. She then said "Get out of the room. I will examine the patient alone. "No," I replied "I haven't committed any aggressive or unpleasant act . She then refused to treat the patient and left the room.

I had just been raped linguistically and not for the first time. I was injured and assaulted. It makes me uncomfortable to talk about it. I was bullied over my rights, insulted in front of the sick person that I accompanied. I was also deprived of a service for which I paid for as I had waited a long time for an appointment. "

Hmmmmm....................

Let me first tell you a little about Mr. Daniel Roy.
He is a virulent French language supremacist. A separatist who has a deep loathing for everything English and Canadian. He writes extensively on militant web- sites and you can get a sampling here, if you read French. LINK

He is a proud member of the Comité exécutif du Parti Québécois in Nelligan riding, a member of the Bloc Québécois, a member of the Parti Indépendantiste, a founding member of the Parti Jeanne du Lys, a member of the Parti République du Québec, a member of the Mouvement Montréal Français, a member of the Jeunes Patriotes du Québec and a member of the Réseau de résistance du Québécois.

The last two organizations have a distinct bent towards violence. He's one busy fellow...

Here are some of his published views;.

"The prince (Prince Charles) of the genocide of North American Francophones"

"We were robbed of Labrador, robbed in our elections, robbed in the referendums and robbed in the Constitution"

"We share Canada with a nation that is dominating and crushing"

We stopped being Canadian in 1759. We are Quebeckers and Quebeckers alone!"

"English continues to dominate and the movement to anglicize is slow and sure, but French is diminishing. It's important that French predominate."

"Nothing will make us waver. Nothing can make us doubt, because we have gained sufficient strength to reverse the overwhelming tide of assimilation and English Canada."

"A man (Jean Charest) with two maternal languages is of use to Canada, not Quebec"

"English is a language to be used only as a tool in foreign trade or travel"

mmkay....Back to his compliant.
Are we to believe that this raving French radical actually sought out medical help, in one of the most English of suburban towns, in a clinic run by Anglophones, with an almost universal Anglophone clientèle?
Given his fear and loathing, what exactly was he doing in enemy territory? As for the story, none of it sounds realistic or credible, especially when he says that, "It makes me uncomfortable to talk about it"
Ha! Ha! Believe me, this guy isn't in the least bit uncomfortable at all when lambasting Anglophones and Canada. This statement is the biggest lie of all and should clue us in that the rest is bullshit.

Given the tenor of his writing, I have no doubt that he went into the clinic looking for trouble, belligerent and spoiling for a fight. He recounts how the doctor  accused him of being "too sticky." What the heck is that? I don't think any English person would use the term 'sticky' to describe an irritating guy.
In another article he has a complaint about a restaurant;

"I was given a menu with English predominating. The English was written on the left-hand side of the menu in the same size font as the French. The employees were speaking English to each other."

So having English and French, side by side on a menu is somehow humiliating. His complaint, by the way, that the English should be written in a smaller font is a misinterpretation of the law. A menu is not a sign.
The incident took place on Park Avenue where all the good restaurants are Greek. The Greeks are closely aligned with the English community and speak English at home. Now anyone who's eaten on Park avenue knows that it is one of the most bilingual streets in the city, the complainer didn't bitch about not being served in French, just about the Anglo atmosphere and the fact that the staff talked to each other in English. Could you imagine him complaining that all the waiters in a Chinese restaurant spoke Chinese to each other?

His other complaint, that the staff addressed most customers in English is also idiotic considering that the majority of patrons are Anglophones as well as out of town businessmen and tourists who also are largely English.

All of these stories of discrimination and contempt are invention of the writers imagination, the product of a persecution complex with a profound distaste to see English thriving in the city.

If these people have a real beef, let them make it. Name the people involved and the stores, offices or institutions.
Otherwise, the stories are just bullshit fantasies.

People ask me why I continue to report on these type of stories. They tell me that they are exceptional and not representative of Quebec society.
I tend to agree, but that being said it's important to denounce ignorance, discrimination and bias, even if it's coming from a small cadre of radicals.
Somewhere, someone has to call them out. I know that the writers of these articles see what I write about them. I always send links in the comments section, which they dutifully fail to publish, confirming to me that they are uncomfortable with what I have to say.

As long as they know I am here, mocking their idiotic missives, I 'm satisfied that it is useful.

New Airport Scanner will Detect Underwear Bombers

In August I wrote a piece about the horrible experience of travelling to the USA via Montreal's Trudeau Airports brand new terminal built especially for security reasons. LINK.

The failed attempt by the underwear bomber has authorities are reeling, as the bomb failed to detonate only by the grace of God.
It looks inevitable that 'invisible' scanners known as “whole-body imagers” will be placed in airports soon.
You can see from this video why authorities were a bit hesitant to install them.

Ouch!!!!!

My Very Own Personal Irwin Cotler Calender

Recently, Mount-Royal MP Irwin Cotler has been railing against the Tories for sending an incendiary pamphlet into his riding accusing him and the Liberal party of being soft on support for Israel. That Mr. Cotler's largely Jewish riding was targeted by Tory spin-meisters was particularly galling to him because of his unwavering support for Israel and for the fact that his Israeli wife was none too pleased.
The whole idea of using Parliamentary resources to send such partisan political messages has become an open issue.


All this however hasn't stopped Mr. Cotler from continuing the fine tradition of sending junk mail to constituents. This week I received an advertisement hyping Mr. Cotler good deeds, disguised as a 2010 calender, compliments of course, of Canadian taxpayers.
In addition to the standard holidays most calenders include, I was a bit surprised at the number politically correct 'special' days that he chose to honour;

• January 17th is Raoul Wallenberg Day (pandering to his Jewish constituents)
• March 8th is International Women's Day (fair enough if he would have included International Men's Day on November 19th. Of course, he did not....)
  
• March 8th Commonwealth Day (celebrating our association with various banana republics such as Uganda and Rhodesia)
  
• March 21th is International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination (Do not use the 'N' word today, please)
  
• April 14th is Holocaust Memorial Day (more pandering to Jewish constituents)
• April 19th is Israel Independence Day (more pandering to Jewish constituents)
• April 22th is Earth Day ( Highlights special potting soil promotion day at RONA ..)
  
• May 1st May Day (Isn't this a old Communist holiday?)
• May 3rd is Press Freedom Day (free newspapers today- thank you!)
  
• May 8th is Red Cross Day (will soon be changed to 'Red Thingie Day' in Quebec, due to political correctness.)
  
• May 15th is International Family Day (celebrating your overseas relatives)
  
• May 24th is Victoira Day, Journée des Patriotes (celebrating Quebec separatists)
  
• May 28th is Peacekeepers Day (celebrating Mohawk Kanawake reserve Police officers)
  
• June 5th is World Environment Day (another two for one holiday- see Earth Day.)
  
• June 12th is Father's Day and is shared with World Refugee Day (fathers always have to share)
• June 21th is National Aboriginal Day (another two for one holiday- see August 9)
  
• June 27th is Canadian Multiculturalism Day (probably not celebrated in Quebec)
• August 9th International Day of Indigenous People (The dictionary defines 'aboriginal' as 'indigenous' and 'indigenous' as 'aboriginal.' The Indians already have a day on June 21, let's call it Indigenous Aboringinals Day or better still "Indian Day".
  
• June 26th is UN Charter Day (one of just 72 'special' days declared by the United Nations)
• September 8th International Literacy Day (must be able to read to know what this is.)
  
• September 21th International Day of Peace (Bosses can't yell at you and you can't fight with your spouse - fair enough!)
  
• October 1st is the International Day of Older People (stop stealing money from your senile parents day)
• October 5th is World Teacher's Day (shamelessly promoted by apple producers)
  
• October 18th is Persons Day (celebrating everybody!)
• October 24th is United Nations Day (arrrghhh!!!!)
• November 16th is International Day for Tolerance (thank you officer, for giving me a warning instead of a fine!)
• November 20th is National Child Day (buy your kid a present, because one birthday a year is not enough!)
• December 6th is National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women (also known as Marc Lépine Day)
• December 10th Human Rights Day (also known as Irwin Cotler Day in Canada.)