Thursday, April 2, 2009

Quebec News of the Weird- Volume 01

Strip Club Chastised For Telling the Truth

In an effort to boost business, a Pierrefonds (a Montreal suburban town) strip club, tried a rare dose of truth to entice patrons.
Unfortunately, the club was asked to change it's advertising billboard, (facing Gouin Blvd.), after someone complained.
I guess truth in advertising can only go so far.
The sign originally read;
12 danseuses, (12 dancers)
10 belles,
(10 pretty)
1 grosse (1 fat)
1 laide (1 ugly)

The manager reluctantly acquiesced to change the offensive message.
Here's the new version;

12 danseuses, (12 dancers)
10 belles,
(10 pretty)
1 equeurante
(1 stunning)
1 tres pesante (1 very fat)

I guess it not that hard to figure out who it was who complained...

Mini-Putt is Newest Quebec 'Sport'

A Laval entrepreneur who claims that mini-putt is actually a sport, took his case to an administrative tribunal and won. The reason he appealed the first ruling, (that mini-putt isn't a sport) had to do with obtaining a liquor license in his recreation centre.
The case took over a year and half to be adjudicated, but it was finally determined that mini-putt was a game of skill that required training to improve, qualifying it as a sport.
London 2012? Link

Quebec Prisoners Big on Viagra

I didn't know that prisoners in federal detention had access to VIAGRA, but I guess it makes some sort of perverse sense, given our country club prison system.
It seems that Quebec prisoners are prescribed Viagra and Cialis five times more often than prisoners in other provinces and that the prison in Donnacona is the hotbed of related sexual activities with the most prescriptions of any prison in Canada. Spokesman for the prison system declared that most prescriptions are made ...ahem.. in anticipation of conjugal visits.
Vive la difference! Link

In a unrelated story, the recently imposed tobacco ban, the one that makes our prisons smoke free, has resulted in a lucrative black market. It is reported in that same prison, Donnacona (must be a busy place!), the price of 50 grams of contraband tobacco is up to $700. Ouch! Link

Mental Patients Stuck in Limbo

It seems that the Jean Talon Hospital (in Montreal) has nowhere to transfer it's long term mental patients, so they're just keeping them permanently.

Two mental patients have been living in the hospital's short term psychiatric ward for over four years, because no place can be found to take care of them permanently.
It's reminiscent of the guy who lived in the Paris airport terminal for years, because no country would take him. Link

Molson-Coors Prez never heard of the Canadiens

Molson-Coors owns almost 20% of the Montreal Canadiens. When contacted by local media to inquire if the company was interested in acquiring George Gillett's share of the team, the president, Scotsman Peter Swinburn shocked the reporter by stating that he never heard of the Canadiens. President since last July, he also admitted that he never attended a hockey game and couldn't identify one player on the team. He is quoted as saying that soccer and rugby are his favorite games.
It's safe to say that the Canadiens are not high on his agenda.
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