It's coming up to Christmas and New Year's and as such a holiday time where we put our negativism and critical energy away for a few weeks.
In keeping with the spirit I shall remain irreverant to the end of the year.
Here's a lighthearted and not-so-lighthearted view of what's wrong with the United States.
By the way, no politicians included because they'd take up all 100 places!
...and don't worry, I'll be getting around to Canada next.
- US citizens arrogantly anointing themselves 'Americans'
- Omitting the 'U' from words like 'colour' or 'valour.'
- Stupid uni-coloured green money and referring coloured currency as "Monopoly Money'
- The useless penny and one dollar bill
- Using 'Entreé' to describe the main course in a restaurant.
- Constantly weather complaining about that annoying 'Canadian Cold Front'
- Elections every week.
- Unable to count votes properly or in a timely fashion
- Hysterical partisan news coverage
- Pronouncing "Montreal as 'Mohn-Tree-All' or Toronto as 'Tor-on-Toe'
- Black Friday hysteria
- Fahrenheit, ounces, pounds and feet.
- The Electoral College
- Gigantic doughy and tasteless New York-style bagels.
- Flagpoles and flags in front of private residences.
- Pronouncing 'Zee' instead of the proper 'Zed'
- The 'First Lady,' as a pitiful substitution for the Queen.
- Righteous indignation over Russian election interference while the CIA remains the biggest foreign election interferer.
- Constant complaining about illegal immigrants while shamelessly exploiting them as cheap labour.
- 'Stand your Ground' laws
- Too many natural disasters like hurricanes, droughts, mudslides, floods, tornados and wildfires. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!
- Taxes on lottery winnings
- 'Venti-mocha-cookie-Frappuccino with 6 shots of expresso'...aaahhhh!
- Appropriating 'Poutine' and describing its origins as Canadian instead of Quebecois.
- ...and its pale imitation, the ever-disgusting 'Disco Fries' and 'Waffle Fries'
- 'Tonite' instead of 'Tonight'....Really?
- Bullet-proof school knapsacks.
- Super-sized portions for a super-sized nation
- No mustard on burgers and no vinegar or mayonnaise for fries.
- Horrible Mexican fast-food that look the same going in and going out.
- No steamed-hot dogs or thick-cut fries in fast-food chains and strangely, outside of upstate New York, no Michigan Hotdogs.
- Thinking they know something about hockey. Commentators using the terms 'Dasher' and 'Cycle'
- Cheerleading as a competitive sport.
- Massive homeless population
- Ambulance-chasing lawyers and prescription medicine advertisements
- Using the word 'Soda' or 'Pop.'
- Cheese-filled crust pizza
- 'Mac'n Cheese' instead of the proper 'Kraft Dinner.'
- Drive-through banks
- Trigger-happy cops
- Obsession with the Bible and fundamentalist bible thumpers
- Clueless winter-weather drivers who can't drive in snowstorms, plus 18 wheel drivers who immediately jackknife in the face of a dusting of snow.
- Using the term 'ice hockey' but not 'tackle football'
- Unsingable national anthem
- Anti-vaxers.
- Creationists and intelligent design
- 70% of Americans now describe themselves as 'VICTIMS' while others describe 70% of Americans as 'PRIVILEGED'
- Asians punished in university admissions for being too smart and dedicated.
- No 'Smarties' Caramilk, Coffee Crisp, Aero or Mae Wests
- 'Kinder Surprise" banned as a danger to society but rapid-fire assault rifles are okay.
- Obsessional reverence of 200-year-old obsolete Constitution.
- Right to bear arms
- 21 years age minimum to drink....18 to buy a gun.
- Pronouncing 'Iraq and Iran as 'Eye-Raq' and 'Eye-Ran'
- Promoting the fantasy that Canadians pronounce 'ABOUT as 'A-BOOT.'
- Interminable chutzpah of Americans who never travel abroad believing that the USA is by far the greatest country in the world and the best place to live.
- Televised beauty pageants, cooking and dance competitions for children.
- Left-lane highway hoggers
- Emotional support animals
- Referring to Back Bacon" as 'Canadian Bacon..'
- Unhealthy portions
- Hipsters
- A technologically advanced society that hasn't yet embraced chipped credit cards.
- Christian TV evangelists
- Amazon package thieves
- Mass shootings
- Brainless politicians who ask the public to pray every time there's a mass shooting.
- The NRA, bump stocks, assault rifles and open carry
- Fat people yoga pants
- Weirdos in Walmart
- Hot-dog eating contests
- Ambulance chasing lawyers
- The Western Baptist Church
- The Kardashians
- Referring to American baseball championship as the 'World Series'
- 2-year, billion dollar Presidential election campaigns featuring endless primaries
- Idiot elections for judges, district attorneys and sheriffs resulting in crooked judges and cops
- For-profit jails
- Political Action Committees (PACS) and nasty negative political ads on TV- "I approve this message!
- Health insurance and co-pays
- Personal bankruptcies caused by medical bills.
- Nation of litigious idiots suing over nothing and gazillion-dollar jury awards.
- Ridiculously expensive college tuition resulting in....forever student loans.
- Violent anti-abortion, Antifa and White Supremacists activists.
- Annoying Robocalls
- Crackers and Rednecks and Bible Thumpers
- Ambulance chasing lawyers
- Confederate flag
- Civil forfeiture
- Childhood obesity
- Corporate political donations
- Unnecessary and costly mid-term elections
- TSA pat-downs of children, old people and invalids
- Astronomical prescription medicine cost
- Helicopter and Lawnmower parents
- Inner city ghettos and gangs speaking in Ebonics. 'AXED" instead of 'ASKED'
- Misogynist Rap music lyrics
- Snowflakes and Safe spaces for fragile millennials
- Huge prison population serving incredibly long sentences
- and general rank stupidity of Americans where.....
- 51% don't believe in Evolution.
- 55% believe that the Constitution established America as a Christian nation.
- 51% don’t trust the Big Bang theory.
- 56% believe that vaccines cause autism.
- Only 38% believe the Civil War was fought over slavery
- 77% believe in Angels
- 18% believe the Sun revolves around the Earth
- 33% believe in ghosts
- 20% are counting on winning a lottery as their retirement plan
- 33% believe Bigfoot exists
- 60% believe dreams predict future
- 26% believe in witchcraft
- 42% believe that homosexuals choose their orientation
- 75% have at least one paranormal belief
- 7% think chocolate milk comes brown cows
- 25% believe God has a role to play in who wins the Super Bowl
- 41% believe in psychics
- 40% believe that spiritual powers lie in objects like trees and crystals
- 62% say you have to believe in God to be a moral person
BTW... Care to add something??
