Thursday, August 13, 2009

A Reply To Those Anti-Canadian Health-Care Ads Playing on American TV

By now you've seen those frightening TV commercials describing patient disasters attributed to the Canadian health care system. It's awfully unfair (but highly effective) to highlight anecdotal disaster stories to shape public opinion. I have no doubt that if someone tried, it wouldn't be particularly difficult to come up with a similar TV advertising campaign depicting American health-care disaster stories that would be equally frightening.

Now the Canadian health care system is not running TV ads defending itself, as rivals would do in a political campaign. That's because
it's no skin off our collective Canadian nose what Americans think of our health care. If Americans are dumb enough to fall for a fear campaign, so be it. Apparently Willie Horton type ads shouting "Boo-SOCIALISM!!" at viewers is all that it takes to get people off health care reform.
It seems that fear factor is as effective today as it was thirty years ago in the Dukakis/Bush advertising war.

If I was to run a rebuttal TV ad that promotes the benefits of Canadian style health care, by telling an anecdotal experience, it might go something like this;
By the way the story in my commercial is also 100% true, it concerns my mother's Canadian health-care experience that happened this very week.

My mom is 85 years old and lives alone in a condo in the west end of the city on Montreal. She is independent, lucid and in relatively good health. She still drives and is completely autonomous. About 10 years ago she had bypass heart surgery and has been monitored quite effectively by her GP and cardiologist.

Monday night at about 3 AM she awoke to a crushing pain in her chest. At first she put it off to a panic attack but finally realized that it was serious.

She dialed 9-1-1 (Yes, we have 911 service in Canada) and spoke with a dispatcher who tried to ascertain the problem.
"I'm not well and I need to go to the hospital, my chest hurts!"

"YES Ma'am! we'll be there within ten minutes.
The dispatcher was wrong, the 'state' run 'socialist' ambulance was there within five minutes. They checked her vital signs, gave her oxygen and placed her on a stretcher and tucked her into the ambulance. With lights flashing, they raced to the hospital and arrived there within another seven or eight minutes.
At the hospital an emergency team was waiting for her at the door. The ambulance drivers turned her over to the care of the hospital staff, wished her good luck and left.
COST FOR THE AMBULANCE- $0.00

She was instantly ushered into a cubicle in the emergency room where a team led by a staff doctor stabilized her heart (which was beating dangerously slowly.) She was administered various drugs and had a temporary pacemaker implanted in a vein in her leg.

COST FOR THE EMERGENCY ROOM TREATMENT- $0.00

She was sent up to the C.C.U (Coronary Care Unit) where she spent a couple of hours under excellent and dedicated care. In the morning she underwent a diagnostic angiogram test to determine if the heart-related arteries had any blockages. An hour later, a heart surgeon came by her bed and explained that the blockages were not serious enough to warrant bypass surgery, but told her that she did need to have a pacemaker implanted in her chest to regulate her heartbeat.

COST FOR THE ANGIOPLASTY- $0.00

COST FOR THE CONSULTATION- $0.00

The surgery was to take place that same day, probably at 12 noon, but the CCU nurse warned that since she was stable, the procedure could be pushed back in the case of an emergency. In the meantime she was given constant medical supervision and about 11:45 she was informed that the surgeon was involved in an emergency procedure and that her surgery would indeed be delayed---until 4:30PM.
At 4PM the nurses slid out the device that connected the diagnostic wires to a monitoring device and slid it into a portable unit, without disturbing my mother. A very nice and polite orderly wheeled her down to the elevator for the trip to the operating room accompanied by a CCU nurse who brought her into the operating room and handed her off.

I waited patiently for the procedure to be completed in the family room opposite the CCU where she was to be brought back after the surgery.
I used the complementary Internet and telephone to check my email and to keep in touch with family and tell them about the surgery.

COST FOR THE OPERATING ROOM- $0.00
COST FOR THE PACEMAKER- $0.00
COST FOR THE SURGEON- $0.00
COST SURGICAL TEAM- $0.00
COST OF DRUGS- $0.00

Sixty minutes later, my mom was delivered back to the CCU, the pacemaker safely implanted in her chest. She would stay in the CCU to be monitored until the doctors were satisfied that she was stable and that the pacemaker was functioning correctly. Fifteen minutes after she arrived a technician arrived with a portable X-ray machine to take a picture of the heart.
COST OF CHEST X-RAY- $0.00

In the morning I came by and found that my mother was doing well and was transferred out of the CCU and was resting in the Recovery room, again under excellent, although less intense care.
A doctor examined my mother and deemed her ready to be discharged. The nurses advised her that they would be forwarding her file back to her cardiologist.

TOTAL COST OF ALL TREATMENTS -$0.00

COST OF A NEW LEASE ON LIFE- PRICELESS!

Now as commercials go, it would be a beauty, but does it reflect reality?
Probably not, everything went too perfectly. In fact, I couldn't
imagine any health care system in the world performing better. But I do believe that this story is a lot more representative of reality than the depictions that are shown in TV ads presented by the US health care industry.

How would the American health care system handle my mom?
  • A whopping ambulance bill.
  • A bunch of useless and unnecessary tests meant to ward off malpractice suits with the secondary benefit of driving up the bill.
  • A recommendation to have bypass surgery, medically justified but completely unnecessary, all with the intent to maximize profits for the hospital and the surgeons.
  • An extra long stay in hospital to 'insure' that the patient is fine. More useless tests and prescriptions.
But all this would happen only if my mother had good insurance or was rich.
If not, I wonder? What if she was one of the uninsured?

Should Canadian medicare be a model for the USA. Probably not.

There are a lot better systems being practiced in countries all over the world, but at any rate, it doesn't really matter.
Given the fierce fight and the massive amounts of money being spent to frighten and misinform Americans, there is no chance reform will happen.

Here in Canada we are looking to improve, let's hope we are are not as entrenched and invested with what we have, as our neighbours to the south are.

Can we change for the better? Hopefully.

After all, we did manage the roll over to the metric system.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

How Am I Driving?

I don't know about you, but I have never, ever phoned 1-800 number posted on trucks advising us to rat out a misbehaving drivers.


I did however get a chuckle out of this Brinks truck , driving rather normally along Ste. Catherine St. in Westmount.
It seems the driver, or one of his co-workers made quite sure that nobody could phone the complaint line!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Interesting Montreal Social Demographic Notes

The City of Montreal published it's 'Profil sociodémographique' which profiles Montreal and Montrealers. You can find the report (in French) HERE
Here are some highlights that you may find interesting;

Population
  • The city boasts a population of 1,9 million, up 2.3% since 2001
  • There are 9.6 females for every 9 males.
  • Last year 23,000 people were born and 15,000 died.
  • 20% of the population is under 19 years old and 15% is over 65.
Family
  • Of the 500,000 Montreal families, 20% are mono parental
  • Of the 400,000 families that are couples, ¼ are not married.
  • Of the married couples, 58% have children while only 37% of unmarried couples have children.
  • Of families that do have children, the average number is 1.7.
  • Of mono parental families, 83% are headed by the woman and 17% by a man.
  • 38% of Montrealers live alone. Only 2% of dwellings have 6 or more people.
Dwellings
  • Of the 800,000 individual dwellings, 67% are in apartment buildings.
  • Only 12% of dwellings are detached individual houses.
  • 62% of the dwellings are occupied by renters and 38% by owners.
  • The average rent for an apartment is $661
  • For those who own, the average value of the dwelling is $306,000
Language
  • Of the language spoken at home, 50% speak French, 23% speak English and 19% speak some other language (Italian, Spanish and Arabic are the most common)
  • 5% speak more than one language at home
  • 56% of the population can speak both French and English
  • 30% of the population speak French only (that means that 40% of the French Montrealers can't speak English
  • 11% of the population speak English only (that means that less than half of the English Montrealers speak French)
  • 3% of the population don't speak French or English.
  • At work, 62% of people speak French, 31% English and 9% speak both French and English.
Citizenship and Race
  • 63% of Montrealers were born in Quebec, 4% in other parts of Canada and 31% are immigrants.
  • Of the immigrants, the largest group is Italian (10%), Haitians (7.4%) and then French and Chinese (5%)
  • 25% of Montrealers are members of a visible minority, the largest group being black (28%) followed by Arabs (16%)
Work
  • Of Montreal's total population, a little over half work for a living.
  • For those who work, the average remuneration is $39,000 for men and $27,000 for females (30% less than men).
  • Family incomes average $74,000

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Weekly Anglo Quebec News Aug 1- Aug 7

Want to Keep up with Quebec News in just 5 minutes?
Perfect for Ex-pats or those in a rush!
Every Saturday read a short, subjective weekly review of Quebec news with a Anglophone perspective.

This isn't Kansas anymore, Toto. Tornados are generally not big news unless there's good video or someone is killed, but when one lands in Quebec and causes damage the story goes right to page one. The town of Mont-Laurier, population 14,000 (a two and a half hour drive north of Montreal) got hit with a Catagory 2 tornado last Tuesday afternoon and caused plenty of damage, including forty homes and knocking out power to half the town. MORE
Here's a video of the twister and a look at some of the damage
Adding to the disaster, a helicopter filming the ruins crashed and killed a popular local businessman and a cameraman from a CTV affiliate in Montreal.

Father in hot water after letting his seven year-old son drive down a deserted country road with the family encouraging him on. The incident came to light when the idiot father posted a video of the adventure on YouTube. As you can imagine the authorities are not amused and are considering charges. The Father is under extreme media pressure and has told friends his life is has been hell since the video surfaced.
In contrast, another incident of underage driving has gone virtually unnoticed despite the fact that there was a fatality. I guess YouTube is the difference. A five-year-old boy was crushed to death in Abitibi, Sunday by a farm tractor driven by aseven year old boy, in Quebec's Abitibi region, provincial police say. No charges are contemplated as there is no legal minimum age for operating a tractor on private property. Can you believe that!

Montreal gets a new area code -'579' is the new code entering service in August as the 450 area code is full.

Montreal 19th best city the world to live in according Monocle Magazine from England. The only other Canadian city to make the list was Vancouver (14th). Take that Toront0. Check out the complete list.

Themis Papadopoulos the alleged fraudster in the Triglobal Financial swindle is reported to be living in Greece. You might think that now that his whereabouts are known, prosecutors would seek his extradition in relation to the $86 million that disappeared in a black hole in the Cayman Islands. You'd be wrong, they haven't even filed charges two years after the fraud. Aaargh....

Quebec loses jobs. Of the 44,000 jobs lost in Canada in July, 37,000 of them were lost in Quebec. That'a a pretty dismal statistic. Ontario actually gained 13,000 jobs in the same period. The unemployment rate in Quebec hit 9% with the Canadian rate at 8.5%.

Stanley Cup makes the tour of Quebec, as several Quebec members of the cup winning Pittsburgh Penguins show of their trophy. Think it's lame? Thousand upon thousands turned up in places like Sorel, Brossard, St. Julie, Shawinigan. There was even a Stanley Cup party at trendy resto-bar Buonanotte in Montreal. The prevailing sentiment of fans was that living vicariously throught the Penguins was better than waitng for the Canadiens to win.

Gasoline rises to $1.09 a litre in Montreal on Friday. The average price of a litre of gas in the USA on the same day is 68.4¢. Ouch!

CRIME & PUNISHMENT

(Weekly review of interesting crime stories and court room antics)

Paedophile gets the book thrown at him. Ex Montreal school teacher Richard Doucet collected a whopping 14 year sentence for various creepy crimes that included making arrangement online to meet a young boy. Problem was that the 'boy' was really a undercover cop and Doucet was busted when he went to the meet. How he get such a heavy sentence? Well I forgot to mention that he got caught in Virginia and faces US style justice. Ha Ha!! Because he's a foreigner he'll have to serve almost the whole sentence. Ouch!!!!
When will Canadian criminals learn to stay home and commit their illegal acts here where sentences are decidely agreeable? Mr. Doucet would likely serve less six months for the same crime here.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Montreal Canadiens Puck Bunnies

Urbania is a hip francophone magazine/web site that covers life in Quebec from a decidedly youngish point of view. If you have good French, try it.

Catherine Perreault-Lessard wrote an article a couple of months ago on the women who throw themselves at hockey players known in French by the insulting term 'Plottes a Puck'.

In English they are are called 'Puck Bunnies,' while in my day they were called 'Groupies' and in my father's day, they were called 'Jock Sniffers'
Whatever the term, they are those woman that seek out the company of hockey players solely for the thrill of hooking up.

If you have good French please read the article entitled "PUCK BUNNY" here.

For the rest of you, here are some translated passages of the most interesting parts;

Sunday evening, in Club Opera.
Up against the bar, a young woman sensually licks the ear lobe of a goalie's while slowly running her nails along his leg. Next to them, two girls are kissing full on the mouth in front of a defenceman and invite him to join their tender duet. Finally, in a dark corner, a shameless rookie, caresses the buttocks and breasts of a college student before burying his fingers in her underwear. Welcome into the world of Puck Bunnies........

.....
the hot girls hang around the bars and hotel lobbies, hoping desperately to end the night with Carey Price, Mike Komisarek, or at worst, the least ugly of the two Kostitsyn brothers... ...When I began my research on the topic, my first instinct was to contact Réjean Tremblay, the author of the series 'Lance et Compte'(the TV show about pro hockey players-ed.).... -
-"Puck bunnies", are they real?"
-
-"What do you think? Of course they exist."
-
-"What we saw on 'Lance" and the girls who were waiting for players in hotels, does it happen like that in real life? Is it as intense?"
-"More in reality than in the series. Why do you think the Canadiens organization has offered players to bring their wives along when they play in Florida? Because they lose there all the time. When they play there, 25 girls are waiting for them after each game!" - My God! If you knew all the stories I have seen in my career "...
To support his claim, he tells some salty stories.
-"One day I was doing an interview with a Montreal player in his room in Buffalo, when another player knocks on his door and asks him if he wanted to try sleeping with two girls at the same time. Another time, during a flight, I saw a Canadiens player do two girls, one after the other, in the bathroom. During the playoffs in Long Island, a dozen members Canadian management were guarding the elevators to ensure that girls didn't get into the players rooms, but they managed to sneak in up the fire escapes."
If I wanted to pierce the mystery, I would have to watch the puck bunnies in their natural habitat: the clubs. To achieve this, I needed an ally, an insider who would show me where the Canadiens players go out on their days off. By researching on the Internet (Carey Price girlfriend), I discovered the blogger JT Utah.
In Quebec, JT is the benchmark for gossip about the Canadiens players. He knows everything about the private lives of Carbo's guys, the trip to Cancun, their one-night stand with girls picked up at the 'Globe' (restaurant/bar-ed.), the colour of their babies' diapers, the size of their penis. During our first contact, he revealed that the players held court on Sunday at Club Opera......

28 September 2008

I agree to meet JT Utah,
the blogger at the corner of St. Lawrence and St. Catherine, in the largest bar in Montreal. .... After a quick tour of the place, we head straight to the mezzanine where the Canadiaens players are....
Guillaume Latendresse and his brother Olivier are already at the bar....
The party is well underway..... -
-"You see, there is Francis Bouillon and Maxime Lapierre" JT whispers to me.
-
-"Bouillon, that little dwarf?"

-"Listen, you don't know the players?"
-
-"It's hard, they always have a helmet on"...
-
-"Rule number one, if you want to be a real Puck Bunny, you must be able to identify them. Those who go out are mostly young: Higgins, Kostytsin, Gorges ... Guys like Dandenault, Brisebois and Koivu, are not that sort."


-"Kovalev?"
-
-"At 33 and 2 children, he has other things to do than go grind a bunch of groupies at the Opera."
- "And Guillaume, didn't he just have a baby?"....

On the mezzanine, the twenty-somthing barbies are quietly entering..... They desperately
try to be noticed with great bursts of laughter and false batting of their eyelashes. Next to JT and me, the impressive Mike Pleakanek and Jaroslav Halak order a bucket of Coors Light. Sergei Kostitsyn, Chris Higgins, Carey Price join them, the chicks, too.
Some of them even dare to address a right winger from Saint-Léonard and have a few shooters with him.

-"This is what fame is in Montreal, there aren't really any real big celebrities. Our Hollywood celebrities are Carey Price, who is our Brad Pitt. Mike Komisarek is our Tom Cruise. Georges Laraque is our Lil Wayne!"...


Near us, the players from the Florida Panthers - who played against the Canadiens today - arrive in a VIP bus. Fifteen minutes later, some twenty girls, escorted by the doorman, join them....

At about two o'clock in the morning, I draw attention to young JT, a young college girl grabbing a rookie and taking him on the dance floor. "Check it out!"

The blond places her hand behind the
player's neck and gently scratches the front of his neck with her nails. A true-blue Puck Bunny. A second later, they are Frenching full on the mouth. Two seconds later, he grabs her breast. Three seconds later, they play touch pee-pee in a dark corner. Four seconds later, she asks him to stop. Five seconds later, she's gone.

.... I ask JT Utah:
- "What happened?"
- "It's because it wasn't big enough. Believe me, if was Carey Price, things would have been different! ..."That guy, all he has to do is choose a girl and ask the barmaid to approach her for him. She'll tell the girl, "Carey Price wants to talk to you." That's it. The deal is closed."
-"How do you know that?
-"One of the barmaids who works here told me."....


.....At the bar, a few inches away from us, players are surrounded by a halo of girls. The ratio is 3 to 1 (OK, say "5 to 1 for Carey Price and 1 for 1 for the 4th line guy ). Even the most ugly players, those that I wouldn't touch with a hockey stick, have their own harem...


...It is almost three o'clock in the morning. The players are drunk and are about to choose which girl they're going to bring them home. To help them make their mind, the Puck Bunnies are making indecent proposals, whispering in the hollow of the players' ear, offering sensual kisses and massages of the crotch.

... The competition is fierce and all the stops are pulled out in order to make sure that they finish up the evening in the Nun's Island condo of their favorite player.
... I received a call from a friend who had found a Puck Bunny - 'Jenny', who was prepared to tell all.

The following Wednesday, I suggested that she meet me at 'Radio Lounge' in the Dix30 Complex, where I learned from my research that some of the Brossard Habs were accustomed to hanging out.


29 October 2008

Wednesday evening, 11PM. Radio Lounge is full of about 450 who are wearing Parasuco
shirts, but no Canadiens player in sight. I sit on a bench with Jenny, a pretty blond in her twenties who works the clubs.
After a few minutes chatting, she tells me she's been attracted to hockey players since the age of 14.
....

- "It's the equipment! I am not like other Puck Bunnies. I'm not into their cash and I don't like the game. I like their package, regardless of their level."
With our vodka and grape juice, Jenny tells me at length of her relationships with players from the Canucks, the Islanders and Quebec Remparts...who incidentally were all cheating....

- "Why do you stay with them?- "Because it's my fantasy. Just seeing them get up in the morning, puting on their jogging to go to the arena, it makes me crazy. It is purely sexual"

....
The interview draws to a close. It is almost one o'clock in the morning and still no trace of CH players. Unable to stay at Dix30 for a second longer I get Jenny to leave. On our way back, crossing the Champlain bridge, I want to talk "tactics."
- "What's your trick for success?
- "First, you need to have an air of a confident slut. Guys are very open to flirting and they love to be approached by beautiful girls. Secondly, you shouldn't look like a groupie. Guys hate girls who just
talk their stats.
-"It's not more complicated, than that?
"
- "No, it's easy enough. Hockey players, all they want to do is to is score. As they often say: "A hole is a hole.""Child's play."

The next morning, when I arrived at the office, I talked about Jenny to some of the girls on the job.

- "Why don't you try to do one?" challenges one of my colleagues.
- "What?
- "A Canadiens player."

- "
It seems to me that it would be the best way to understand what they are, right? "
- "You're quite right."

....
Sunday evening.
This time I wear fuck-me-leather boots, a nice pearl necklace and a black dress cut low, just over my
lace bra. Walking makes me feel so sexy that I hear "You Can Leave Your Hat On" by Joe Cocker with each of my steps.

- "You're going to Club Opera?" asks the taxi driver who picked me up on Saint-Urbain.
- "Yes. How do you know that?- "Hey ... you're all chrome. "

I meet with JT on the inside. Unfortunately, on the mezzanine - the usual haunt - there's no trace of the Habs. Patiently, hoping they come, I ordered a round of tequila shooters, the only thing that can give me the courage to play the part of a Puck Bunny....


...After an hour, I
finally see a defenceman climb the stairs to the mezzanine. There's hope.
- "Shit, there is a girl with him. Do you think it's his girlfriend? "
- "You mean one of the blonds," says JT.

...
Right in front of us, a big blond kisses the girl first and then turns around to embrace the second. Once done, the two partners French sensuously in front of the player before inviting him to join them. In the end, their three mouths become one. I'm astounded.
- "I can't believe that they dare to do this in front of everyone. Three quarters of the bar must have camera-phones."
- "Yeah, you are right. But imagine how proud these girls will be tomorrow morning when they write it up on Facebook that they Frenched M.....

...
I interrupt him to point out Carey Price at the bar. I know because I spent three hours last night studying the player profiles on the Canadiens web site....
"Go talk to him, he's right there." says JT Utah.

The problem is that the goalkeeper is surrounded by three girls with fake breasts and waists the size of my wrist(read: dancers). Second problem is that they are wrapped around him like lioness's protecting their children. I don't think they will let me approach him...
-"If Tom Kostopoulos was here, I think it would be easier."

I approach the bar and try all means to establish eye contact with Carey. I bat my eyelashes, I make hearts with my lips and I smile to myself with frowned eyebrows, to look mysterious.
Carey remained cool.
Determined, I stick my two arms against each of my breasts and I push in to enhance my cleavage... No reaction. Nothing, nyet, nada.
The only one who seems intrigued by my little carousel is a neighbor on the left: a young man...who looks like 'Turtle' from 'Entourage.'

I smile. He smiles at me.

- "Who is it? Do you think he is the best friend?"
- "No, he's the assistant to the equipment manager of the Canadian."
...It is almost two o'clock in the morning. In front of me, I have the choice between a defenceman who doesn't have enough language to make a pass, a sex-symbol goalie wrapped in dancers and 'Turtle'. If I were a real puck bunny, I'd probably take the second choice. Carey Price, single, rich and incredibly beautiful. But I am not a real Puck Bunny. Anyway, I'm out of my class and can't beat someone with 36-24-36 figure. I'm missing the 24... and the 36.

Except that and despite everything, I'm not desperate enough to do Turtle.
A little respect.

I throw a glance towards the defenceman who is now Frenching two girls, I take a breath and look back to JT:
"Do you know what bars I can find some ordinary guys?"