Luc Plamandon's Sad Refrain

Most anglophones are more familiar with Plamondon avenue, then they are with Luc Plamondon, but in the Francophone community he's an artistic saint. The playwright was awarded an honourary medal in the National Assembly (Quebec's Parliament), last week and took the opportunity to bitch and moan about the French language 'issue', while throwing a few barbs at the English language.

"the French language is plummeting." "Here everyday, the French language is in danger, more and more"
"la langue française dégringole un peu»: «La langue française, ici, est en danger tous les jours, de plus en plus"

Speaking of English in Quebec he spoke of "invasion" and "aggression"
En parlant de l'anglais au Québec, il a parlé d'"invasion" et d'"agression".

Jocelyne Richer, LA PRESSE CANADIENNE

Mr. Plamondon parrots the mantra that French is in mortal danger in Quebec. It's a popular myth repeated ad nauseum by sovereignists, nationalist groups and most francophone artists.

The trouble is, that there isn't an ounce of truth in it!

The idea that French is "falling back," is so ridiculous that it begs rebuttal.

Those who continue to spout this nonsense are masters of the classic propaganda technique, invented by the Nazis, known as "THE BIG LIE". It can best be explained by American comedian Richard Belzer, who describes it this way;

"If you tell a lie that's big enough, and you tell it often enough, people will believe you are telling the truth, even when what you are saying is total crap."

Last week, the LCN television animator Pierre Mongrain ran a story (in the spirit of French persecution) about a patient who was told to bring an interpreter with her to the hospital, because the specialist doctor, an allophone, spoke no French. The story was meant to show how badly in peril the French language is, but actually served to highlight the amazing strides that the language has actually made over the years.
Back in the day (thirty years ago), this story could never have made the news, simply because it was an everyday occurrence.
Today it's news, because it's a novelty.

As any anglophone born and raised in Quebec can attest, the anglophone community and the English language is in sharp decline.
For language zealots to claim that English is somehow on the upswing and a threat the French language is pure fantasy and self-serving propaganda.

Who can deny that Montreal, a bilingual city a generation ago has evolved into a francophone city.
Traffic signs, billboards, the Metro and just about everything is now uniformly French. Major stores, that by law are allowed to post English signs (with restrictions) don't even bother.
The odd smattering of English that remains is a sad reminder of what once was and serves only to fuel the ire and rage of language fanatics who are bent on eradicating any vestige or trace of the hated language of the 'oppressors'.

French is stronger today, than ever before. PERIOD!!

In 1851 anglophones made up 25% of the Quebec population. Today that number stands at about 8% and since 1971 the absolute number of anglophones has continued to shrink.

On the other side of the coin, there are more French speakers and people who's mother tongue is French living in Quebec today, than ever in the history of province!

It's an inconvenient fact for those claiming that French is on the decline.

So how can militants make that claim that French is threatened, when almost every statistic says differently?
How?.....Tell the "Big Lie'.
Find the one nugget, the one statistic that you can wrap an argument around and spin it wildly...and here it is..

It seems that the percentage (not the absolute number) of those who's mother tongue is French, has declined by two or three percentage points over the last years.

Voila!- There it is, the French language is on the road to extinction and to make the story better, it's also the fault of the English!

Now in crafting every 'Big Lie', certain liberties have to be taken with the truth and unfortunate facts have to be shaped or omitted. In this case, militants are loath to mention that the number of people who's mother tongue is English has also declined and much more drastically than on the French side.
You don't have to be a statistician to see which direction English is going according to the chart below.

The assertion that the decline in people claiming French as their mother tongue is proof positive of the decline of the French language is ridiculous enough, but that this supposed decline is in some way related to the influence of the English language is so outrageous that it can only be understood in the context of a the 'Big Lie.'

Because of a plummeting birthrate, immigrantion has been increased to shore up Quebec's sagging population. Without new blood, Quebec's population would fall by half, in less then sixty years.

Of course these immigrants don't all have French as a mother tongue and ergo the decline in those who claim French as their mother tongue.
But as these immigrant families settle into life in Quebec, their children are forced to attend French schools which ultimately leads the next generation to adopt French as a mother tongue.
Statistically speaking, the numbers balance out quite neatly. While new immigrants arrive without French as a mother tongue, their offspring ultimately adopt French as a mother tongue, in a process that repeats itself with each new generation of immigrants. The loss of two or three statistical percentage points is caused by this process. It is however, a one time loss and does not reflect any downward trend.

There was a time in the sovereignty movement when things like 'mother tongue' didn't count.
Rene Levesque and his colleagues went to great lengths to assure everyone that the movement was inclusive and based on language only.
That no longer seems to be the case. It appears that speaking French is no longer good enough for today's language crusaders, for whom, you have to be born French, to be counted among them.

At any rate, whatever the situation, it has nothing to do with anglophones or the English language, which itself is in rapid decline.

Mr Plamondon and his cohorts should get their facts straight before undertaking these vitriolic attacks on our language. How is using words like 'aggression' and 'invasion' to describe English not a racist act.

Stop blaming the English for a decline that doesn't exist and take heed in the famous credo of that great cartoon character 'POGO.'

“We have seen the enemy and they is us"

Let's Not Forget Coyote the Fans

While I usually write about anglophone issues in Quebec, I can't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the fans of the Phoenix Coyotes and since I haven't read a word in support for the loyal fans of the NHL team anywhere, I shall endeavour to say a word on their behalf.

As an ex-Montreal Expos fan, I as well as thousands of other people can attest to the painful experience of losing a professional sports team.

Five years later, it still hurts.

Although I'd like to see another team in Canada, the present drama is cruel and unusual punishment for the Coyote fans.
Like in Montreal or in Winnipeg, or in Quebec City, perhaps there isn't enough interest and perhaps the financials don't add up, but it doesn't mean that there aren't any passionate fans in Phoenix.


It's sad to see these people ignored.
Not one word about them from any commentator or sports writer and in fact the only one to speak out on their behalf is Commissioner Gary Bettman who's interest is as sincere as a three dollar bill.

Jim Basille and Gary Bettman appear to be two hard asses taken from the same mold.
I hope the affair doesn't drag out as it did in Montreal.
The worst case scenario would be a long drawn out court room affair.

It's Easy to be a Language Racist.

Last month, the thoroughly stupid Anglo-bashing book "ANGLAID" by Michel Brulé, made its appearance in bookstores across the province. The book makes some pretty dumb claims about the English language including the assertion that the language itself, is racist and ugly. I would have ignored the book, but for the fact that several nationalist organizations have begun promoting the book as a valid intellectual exercise.

There's nothing in the book remotely interesting or intellectually stimulating. It's mean and nasty tenor speaks more to Mr. Brulé obvious inferiority complex, than to any inference upon the English language.

About the only thing I agree with Mr. Brulé is that French is a beautiful language, which I heartily admit.
It is without a doubt a pleasure to be able to listen the fluid, rich, rhythmic and lyrical language that is French.

It's too bad that Mr. Brulé doesn't speak French.

No, what Mr. Brulé actually speaks is 'Quebecoise', a bastardized version of the language of Moliere, more closely related the incomprehensible crap that is spoken in Haiti, than what is spoken in France.

Listening to Quebecoise is as painful as is listening to the 'Ebonics' of the American black ghetto. Both groups make the argument that their version of their mother language is meritorious and rich, but nobody in France or in America would agree with that nonsense.

Both represent a dumbing down of a language which they clearly are unable to master properly. French is a difficult language to master and with a high school dropout rate of over thirty percent in Quebec, it's no wonder that the language has degenerated, exactly as has English, in the poor black ghettos of the United States.

While the French (in France) can still understand what Quebeckers say, they don't particularly like what they hear. Quebeckers who visit France are well-attuned to the snickers their language receives when they open their mouths.
If you think there are language purists here in Quebec, try visiting France and speaking Quebecoise.
In fact Quebec movies that do make over to France are usually dubbed into 'Parisian French' and if that isn't the ultimate insult, I don't know what is.

One of the problems of keeping French alive and relevant is the fact that there are so few nations still speaking it. The world-wide 'Francophonie' (as the brotherhood of French nations is known) is made up of just a few civilized countries that include France, part of Belgium (where 40% of the people speak French), part of Switzerland (where 20% of the people speak French) and part of Canada (where 22% of the people speak French). The rest of the membership is made up largely by a motley assortment of banana republics in Africa. The days when French was a common second language or used in trade and diplomacy are long gone. With just over 120 million speakers (less than speakers of Malay-Indonesian), French no longer has the critical mass to maintain itself as an international language and to maintain a world-wide culture. It is predicted that Quebecoise and French will be unrecognizable to each other within twenty-five years.

French is bad because ... Blah...blah... blah

Had enough?

I could go on and on and I could even write a book like Michel Brulé , only this one, bashing the French language instead of English.

But to what end?

If you are a francophone and still reading this post, let me apologize. I'm sure you didn't enjoy what you just read.

The purpose of the above rant was not to denigrate or humiliate your language, but to make the point that in life there is an argument to made for anything, that's why we have so many lawyers.

Writing a book insulting someone else's language is about as wise as telling your mother-in-law that she is ugly.

Why? Why? Why?

ANGLAID is such a book, stupid and cruel in every respect.

It is written expressly for French language racists, nobody other than a fanatic would bother reading such drivel.

Translation Follies

If you'd like a good laugh you can find some wonderful translations errors over at ameriquebec. The nationalist site is frothing at the mouth over some pretty amusing gaffes on the French side of various products sold in the province.
I have to admit, nothing beats this boo boo by a company selling a shovel that they call 'Snow Pusher.' which they translated into- " Snow Drug Dealer" (Pusher=Drug Dealer).

You've got to admit it's a bit funny.
Unfortunately, the language crusaders over at Ameriquebec take a dim view of such gaffes and have called for a boycott in what can only be described as a comical over-reaction that is typical of the religious language zealots.

Obviously this small company used an Internet translation service like Google Translate or Yahoo's Bable Fish.
These sites are notoriously inefficient and should never be used in any official capacity.

Here's what Ameriquebec said about the affair.

" N’hésitez pas à faire circuler ces images et à boycotter les compagnies qui nesedonnent pas la peine de se payer ne serait-ce qu’un traducteur et qui secontententplutôt d’utiliser des traducteurs automatiques sur internet."

Here's how two of the Internets most popular translation sites handled the text;

Babel Fish
"Do not hesitate to make circulate these images and to boycott the companies which do not try hard to be paid would be this only one translator and which is rather satisfied to use automatic translators on Internet."
Google Translate;
"Feel free to circulate these images and to boycott companies that did not bother to pay even a translator who only tend to use automatic translators on the internet."

Arghh!!!!
As a lark, I sent the Lord's Prayer through both translation softwares sites and here is the result;

Babel Fish
"Our Father, which be with the skies, that your name is sanctified, that your reign comes, that your will is made on the ground as with the sky. Give us aujourd' today our bread of this day. Forgive us our offences as we also forgive with those which offended us. And do not subject to us with temptation, but to us evil delivers, because c' with you qu' is; the reign, the power and glory belong, at the centuries of the centuries. Amen."

Google Translate;
"Our Father, who art in heaven, be thy name, Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our offenses as we also forgive those who have offended. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, because of you qu'appartiennent the kingdom, the power and glory for ever and ever."Amen.

As you can see, Google Translate is far superior, but I wouldn't use it to translate my resumé, that's for sure.

I spent the last thirty years in the retail business and can tell you that there isn't a spelling mistake that goes unnoticed by the language crusaders.
Every week our company would receive nasty e-mails and calls from language crusaders complaining about this and that mistake. When we'd direct them to the manufacturer, they were indignant, as if we were responsible.
The letters all contained the familiar vernacular of the nationalist movement.
"Insult" "Humiliation" "Disgrace" blah...blah... blah...

Most of the errors were made by small companies based outside Quebec (In Canada) who relied their Chinese manufacturers to get the artwork and text right. We sometimes helped out and proofed the material before it went to press.

There's really no excuse for these gaffes, but perhaps the small size and limited budget can be used as a mitigating factor.

But translation errors are a two way street and there are many examples of mangled English, including the Government of Quebec, who has the budget and wherewithal to know and do better.
See my recent post about an advertisement by Transports Quebec.
Although the ad was obviously translated by a non-anglophone, I would never claim to be humiliated or insulted. It was just a translation mistake, without malice of intent.
Sometimes a mistake is just a mistake.

AmeriQuebec, GET A LIFE!

Dangerous Radar Trap Framed by Idiotic Billboard

The implementation of a radar trap at Decarie and Jean Talon, in Montreal, is so dangerous that it belies any pretense by the police that they are acting to promote safety. It's strictly a cash grab.

Parked four lanes over, the police nab 'speeders', who are exiting the Decarie Expressway, going up the ramp leading to the Decarie service road.

The problem is, that the cops are forced to dash out into the traffic, across four lanes to nab the speeder. Traffic comes to a screeching and dangerous halt as the offender is stopped and then escorted over to the shoulder. For those of you who don't know Montreal, the Decarie service road is one of the busiest arteries in Montreal and the folly of grinding traffic to a halt, to pursue a traffic ticket is dangerously stupid.

Perhaps, the city wouldn't need to raise funds in this manner, if it would stop wasting so much money.
Take for example, the idiotic billboard above the radar trap. Paid for by the city, it purpose is to remind us that Montreal is a great place to live.